Senior Living/Care

[alldodge]

Had Mom finally ready to move out of the house and into a Senior living place, when stuff happened. She developed Afib and was admitted in the hospital. A pace maker and 2 weeks later ready for discharge and right in front of everyone, she goes down. Had a clot from the Afib make it to the brain and the stroke while not a big one has effected her right leg for the most part

A week later, they discharge her to rehab hospital and now two weeks later she has plateaued and we will have 48 hours to find a place for her. She cannot go back home because being unable to make it to the bathroom and other things without help. So we found some places and the cost has increased. Cost for assisted with personnel care is between 3500 to 4500 a month.

Sister is a nurse and has been looking into what Medicare pays and its nothing for this kind of stuff

Mom brings in 1500 and use kids will be footing the rest. Anyone deal with any of this which can have some insight?

 

[Bob_VT]

Yes - there are people all over who can help. I would suggest starting with the Hospital Social worker, your local Aging and Disabilities and check with the State Gov't. My 1st wife was admitted into a nursing facility full time and she would change time to time. I know it's a scramble but consider the first place she goes may not be the permanent place until a better situation is found.

The money part scares the crap out of everyone and actually medicare and other sources pick up most of it.

 

[alldodge]

The money part scars the crap out of everyone and actually medicare and other sources pick up most of it.

Really, medicare picks up most?
I know they do during a hospital stay and transistion, but after that nothing much

Sister has talked to folks at elder law and to social worker that we paid to help. Have found where they pay much of anything once she is at this point

https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/medicare

 

[southkogs]

I know it's a scramble but consider the first place she goes may not be the permanent place until a better situation is found.

^^^^ YES. You will find things out as you navigate this stuff. The minute you're not comfortable, get ready to go somewhere else.

Talk with your case worker about home care options, too. Sometimes those can be surprisingly easy.

If she is just bringing in income from Social Security and doesn't have much in terms of assets, then I would see how/when Medicare comes into play and what's available. If she has investments or other assets she's living off of, it might be worthwhile to consult an attorney familiar with elder care before you agree to too much (even if that means you're footing the bill for a month or two). There may be some ways to make sure her assets are protected, and not consumed in her need for assistance.

 

[southkogs]

Really, medicare picks up most?

My Dad has had a rough year, and we've been fighting with this stuff since May. Fortunately, my mother has been able to keep up with most of it at home with home care assistance and us kids coming by. But when we looked at it, once Dad's assets were soaked up, Medicare had quite a few options for facility care for him if we had to do that.

Be prepared to be pretty frustrated. None of it is fast. All of it is confusing. And from the administrative side of things it feels nearly heartless. Fortunately most of the people in the caregiving layer of it are incredible and make up for the suits.

 

[alldodge]

Mom has no assets and I bought her house many years ago.

Look forward to find out if there is something to help. Will keep researching
Also don't see home care working with needing 24/7 care

 

[aspeck]

Each state seems to be a little bit different, so you have to see what works where you are. In PA if the patient has been in the hospital for at least 3 days and her dr prescribes full time nursing, the first 100 days of a nursing home are paid for. After that, you are responsible until there are $0 assets left. Once the $0 threshold is hit, Medicare/Caid pays for all and they garnish the patient's SS checks and give them something like $40 a month for out of pocket expenses. If there is any life insurance policies, those need to be turned over to the state. That is how PA works. I have a friend in NC where it is completely different and the family is responsible. However, the cost of a nursing home there is 1/4th the cost of PA ($2,000 compared to $8,000).

 

[alldodge]

Each state seems to be a little bit different, so you have to see what works where you are. In PA if the patient has been in the hospital for at least 3 days and her dr prescribes full time nursing, the first 100 days of a nursing home are paid for. After that, you are responsible until there are $0 assets left. Once the $0 threshold is hit, Medicare/Caid pays for all and they garnish the patient's SS checks and give them something like $40 a month for out of pocket expenses. If there is any life insurance policies, those need to be turned over to the state. That is how PA works. I have a friend in NC where it is completely different and the family is responsible. However, the cost of a nursing home there is 1/4th the cost of PA ($2,000 compared to $8,000).

This is what I'm finding as well here in KY

 

[racerone]

edited

 

[dingbat]

Went through the same thing with my mother back in March.

Hospitalized with TIAs. Diagnosed with early onset dementia. We/She sold the house and moved into a retirement community/ home.

She is still able to live on her own with help. We have someone come in twice a week to help with things around the apartment, plan meals, shopping, etc.

Medicare covers medical but she is responsible for living arrangement until her estate runs out of money. At that point, Medicaid takes over. Financial restricts allow for X number of years prior to moving over to Medicaid

County social services was very helpful guiding us through the process to this point.

 

[64osby]

Here in Michigan, don't know where else, MIL went into assisted living and had very few assets. The house was transferred with a Lady Bird Deed, check with an atty on how this is done. Kept the govt from claiming the asset / proceeds. Medicaid requirements were no more then $2,000 in total accounts ever. You must watch this closely, non cashed checks can temporarily cause the account to look like it has more in it.

A Non Profit assisted living facility accepted her. She lived there for 5 years with very little out of pocket. SS money was used for partial payment, meds and other basic living needs. Medicaid picked up the rest.

My mother lived in the same facility and paid $3,500 to $5,500 per month depending on care levels. My mother was in assisted living for 15 years. Thankfully there was a trust that was able to fund her stay. The trust ran out of money the week she died.

 

[Old Ironmaker]

I'm sorry to hear about Mom's struggles. We went through it years ago when Mom and Dad realized they needed assisted living. Not cheap here in Ontario Canada. They paid $6000.00 CDN all out of pocket, no assistance from our Provincial Gov. other than some in home assistance for health care. It's geared to income. There's was a 5 star facility, some places are dreadful. They both passed, Mom in 2018 and Dad this past April. If we all live long enough odds are we are going to need living assistance as well. We are all born as helpless infants and it's sad but some die in the same state. We were lucky they were both vibrant as far as an 88 and 92 year old can be.

I know what you are going through. It ain't easy.

 

[alldodge]

Thanks for the comments guys

We got the notification today, Mom is not getting better (according to rehab hospital) so I'm headed North tomorrow and get her on Friday and take her to the next place. The new place will continue to give her some rehab so hopefully she will get back to walking and then can make it to the senior place

 

[southkogs]

It's hard AD. I've been doing similar as you are since last April. Dad's gotten worse and worse, and Mom is his primary care giver. Fortunately everyone is at home, and my brother's family is doing a lot to help out. But it's difficult to find the right things to do, services you can afford and any kind of consistent answers from the folks who claim to run the show.

Don't know that I've got any answers, but I'm glad to chat about it and help get some of it on the table. Just let me know.

 

[alldodge]

Thanks SC for the comments. Might connect later, but be warned, your close to me, that might be an issue

 

[64osby]

The other thing you need to do is watch any and every facility, PA and doctor. Never assume they are working for the best of your loved one. Be their advocate. There were many things that happened at different times with both my MIL and Mother. We called in Patient Advocates, requested in room cameras, monitored meds. Not all care givers are good and not all care.

It is not easy. It can be harsh at times. Be there for your loved ones when they need it most.

 

[alldodge]

Yes, at least Mom is doing ok except for her right leg. Has some dementia starting but its mild now

 

[alldodge]

Well 4 trips to/from Mom's house to place, and Mom really likes the people there. Even more so the food was great (she said) and the folks appear to really want to make sure she gets what she wants. Been several there something like, we're here to take care of your needs, we just need you to tell us what you need.

I went away feeling good

 

[southkogs]

Tough to get used to. You never feel quite right, and yet you're pretty positive you're doing the right thing. Keep focus on enjoying her. Hang in there AD.