Missing your kids wedding, just too expensive :(

[ezbtr]

Coming up in July, realistically gonna run ME $5000 minimum, love my daughter to death although she a bit dingy, doesn't call enough to plan ahead/stuff she mentioned a few months ago, we talk maybe every 2 ish months, of course I'm not wild about her under functioning 38 yr old fiance mommas boy that expects his dad to maybe one day giveeeeeeeeee him/them a down on a house maybe, just getting a bad taste in my mouth.....
We're ok financially, but dayum, gettin 2 dog sitting, flights, car for two for 4 days to CA from TX.I don't travel all that well due to some old injuries, walking thru airports dragging all our crap...yuk
I'd rather have them fly here (to a nearby hotel) and we have a great bbq for them, chill, and their siblings,parents as well.

Thoughts???
Thanks guys

 

[Tassie 1]

Hear where you're coming from,

but life's too short...

remember, your daughter will get to choose your nursing home one day...lol

l couldn't even think of spoiling my daughters big day by not being there,

 

[alldodge]

I feel your pain, mine did similar. There millennial's (to me) seem to only notice the world revolving around them. They always call when they need something but hardly ever any other time. I even offered to make things cheaper and give them the money but no way. The 2 things I hate to speed money on are weddings and funerals, both a wast of it

My niece has one of these do nothing live-in's and her mother sure wishes she would find someone with more drive.

Do agree with Tassie, life is short and this is the first and hope it all works out. Do it, hold your thoughts and get through it. Some day she may realize to do better

 

[dingbat]

I have three daughters. Can’t imagine missing anything of importance to any of them.

Drove 12 hours (round trip) to surprise my eldest and take her out to dinner for her 40th birthday.

BTW Your $5k estimate is way over blown. Spent less than that on a 7 day vacation for four to Sedona last year. Included round trip tickets from Washington DC to Phoenix, rental car and condo rental at a resort.

Airfare from LA to TX, rental car, hotel and incidentals for four days your looking $2,000

 

[sphelps]

remember, your daughter will get to choose your nursing home one day...lol
,

Ha ! Now that’s a thought ! :lol:

 

[four winns 214]

......love my daughter to death.......

It’s hard to reconcile those five words with the other 100 or so words in the your post.

 

[ezbtr]

I have three daughters. Can’t imagine missing anything of importance to any of them.

Drove 12 hours (round trip) to surprise my eldest and take her out to dinner for her 40th birthday.

BTW Your $5k estimate is way over blown. Spent less than that on a 7 day vacation for four to Sedona last year. Included round trip tickets from Washington DC to Phoenix, rental car and condo rental at a resort.

Airfare from LA to TX, rental car, hotel and incidentals for four days your looking $2,000

No - there's dog care for 4 days plus another $1500 as well and then some - walking airports, flying, uncomfortable to sit as well

 

[harringtondav]

I think I may luck out on this one. Daughter will be 28 in July, and swore off boyfriends (for the time) after three super duds. We chat often about $23K princess weddings, and the piece of dried out frozen wedding cake in the freezer and a photo CD album left when the dust settles. My pal coughed up the $23 grand for his girl, but suggested she take the cash and down pay on a house. Nope. ....Per AD, a pirate industry, and the girls and their moms feed themselves to the crooks.

Daughter's frontal lobes seem solid now, and she intends to keep it JP simple, and throw a decent party afterward. I'll give her <$23K to get started, but it will be a nice sized gift.

As far as advice to ezbtr , I've got none. I'll be buying four RT tickets to West Point NY from cent. IA Dec. 29 for my niece's wedding. I haven't talked to the girl for 16 yrs, and talk to Bro/pappa 3-4 times/yr when I call. But ya gotta do what (the wife says) you gotta do.

 

[aspeck]

Somewhere there is a disconnect between the verbal word "love" and the actions of "love." Of course, you didn't say if you were paying for the wedding and how much that is. Maybe you broke the bank with the wedding costs that you can't afford to go. I just know that it would take death, or at least near death, to keep me away from my daughter's special day.

 

[garbageguy]

Good thoughts from many here.

My thoughts? People are people and all are different, but I don't think I'd have $ stand in the way of going to one of our kids' events. The people in our lives, to me, are much more important than over-spending (in my opinion) on things related to them - and our children, no bounds.

I think factoring-in dog care could be re-thought. It is your decision to have dogs - nothing worth it is cheap.

 

[Old Ironmaker]

5 grand, hell that's what an engagement party is around here . Add a few zero's and you have a Canadian/Italian/Portuguese/Greek/Croatian wedding here in Toronto. My closest friend in the world gave each daughter a new home as a gift. That was after the 600 guest weddings. 5000 grand, I wish. We only had 500 guests at 200 a plate. sorry doll, no home. What a waste. If they get divorced I want my change. We raised 100K for his bachelor party. Raffled off a new Harley. Yes it is insane.

 

[Scott Danforth]

Rent a suburban, bring the dogs along, bring a crate and crash at your daugters house.

 

[ezbtr]

Daughter has a small aptmt, no dogs - I've already got most figured out - you guys have always been a great sounding board for 16(????) years, yeah we'll go.drop dogs local/here, fly, already figured out what we'll give them - KITCHEN appliances that whats his face cant mess with, maybe when his balls drop, we'll talk financial help, but I doubt it , you guys have been great, Thanks

 

[ezbtr]

Flying out tomorrow

 

[sphelps]

Good deal ! Have a great time and congratulations!

 

[ezbtr]

Thanks! Gettin used to the idea I'll have a son in law, mmmmmmm, I gotta figure out a way for him to get his hands on a hammer/get dirty and make himself useful, LOL!!
P.S. Yeah this'll set me back some change, but looking forward to all, Sat. is the wedding

 

[ezbtr]

I will be home tonight was an absolute blast! Expensive!I will be home tonight was an absolute blast!

 

[Todd in NY]

I'm glad it all worked out for you. You earned your daughter's respect by being there for her. Women take weddings a LOT more seriously than men. We as parents can only hope that our kids make the right decisions in life.

 

[ezbtr]

I'm glad it all worked out for you. You earned your daughter's respect by being there for her. Women take weddings a LOT more seriously than men. We as parents can only hope that our kids make the right decisions in life.

yup - and got to see LOTS of my cousins and thier mostly 18 yr + kids, really fun! Gave a SHORT welcome "speech", walked her down the trail(over looking beach), father/daughter dance, and didn't get too hammered or tear up (much)

 

[Todd in NY]

yup - and got to see LOTS of my cousins and thier mostly 18 yr + kids, really fun! Gave a SHORT welcome "speech", walked her down the trail(over looking beach), father/daughter dance, and didn't get too hammered or tear up (much)

That's awesome, sounds like it was a great trip!