some input on alcohol/boats

ok heres the thing with the 4th of july coming up. we are planning a large get together and my wife has invited her cousin which is a heavy drinker, and careless. I have had her on my boat one time before while drinking and she WILL not listen to my directions, wont sit down is all over the boat dancing and has knocked me into the throttle causing an unexpected idle to WOT incident which almost caused 2 people to go overboard. now first let me say my stance is she is not allowed on my boat drinking EVER again. my wife is upset really bad because I told her that if her cousin drinks she is not allowed on the boat. and I explained why. however I have a few buds that drink on my boat, but they don't get rowdy or disregard rules or cause any distraction to me while safely operating the boat. and your remarks wont change my mind its my rules and my boat, I just want to get your input on your thoughts as to how to handle it. my safety as well as other people on board and other boaters is important to me.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

I say you have a problem either way you decide.

I have a brother in law with the same problem. He is to the point he is yellow all the time
because he has nuked his liver.

I have stuck to my guns but approached it totally from a safety to others angle.

If you have kids (like I do) drag their safety into the mix....bring it all to the table.
Lucky for me my wife looks at me sideways if I even talk about drinking a beer on the boat....so I
use that to my advantage as well.

Oh and get the doghouse ready for your pillow.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

You're danged if you, danged if you don't. I would have to put the groups safety above the feelings of 2. If you other half can't deal with it, cross that bridge when you come to it.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

oh yes indeed. my wife is the same. she refuses to let me drive the boat or car after one or 2 beers. so I do throw that up. her defense is shes not driving, but I tell her its just as dangerous for an unruly passenger. either way im in the dog house but I am sticking to my guns. I would rather wreck a day for one person than injuring or worse to other folks. I can sleep at night from refusing someone to get on my boat, I can not sleep at night knowing someone got hurt from my negligence, (in the laws eyes I am negligent for allowing her on my boat) but this isn't a legal based decision, its based on my value of safety and life.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Dawg'sLife93 said:

You're danged if you, danged if you don't. I would have to put the groups safety above the feelings of 2. If you other half can't deal with it, cross that bridge when you come to it.

Click to expand...

I would rather be danged for making 2 people mad than for causing harm to some one.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Its a bummer of a choice but which is it better to have, p.o.ed relatives or dead ones? You know what you have to do but it ain't easy.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

The three of you need to talk. Have your wife's cousin read this thread.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Here's a wild and crazy thought.... It's actually possible to have a good time on a boat without drinking. If there was a flat out no drinking rule on your boat then you wouldn't have to discriminate against anyone.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

bhile said:

Its a bummer of a choice but which is it better to have, p.o.ed relatives or dead ones? You know what you have to do but it ain't easy.

Click to expand...

pretty easy for me. lol you drink you stay on shore. its easy for me. she almost caused injury once before.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

metriccrescentwrench said:

Here's a wild and crazy thought.... It's actually possible to have a good time on a boat without drinking. If there was a flat out no drinking rule on your boat then you wouldn't have to discriminate against anyone.

Click to expand...

yes it is. and I don't mind drinking but she is an unruly drinker that wont mind the rules while drinking. other friends have drank and minded every rule and stayed seated and safe. I don't mind drinking but she cant control herself while drinking.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

The only way I see out of it for you is to sit the wife down and tell her that she is responsible for the cousin and if she gets out of hand you will put both of them out on the dock. The cousin will need some one to drive her home and thats the wife's job. That makes it her responsibility and not yours. I would bet your wife wont want any part of that. No one likes babysitting a drunk.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

She isn't an obnoxious inconsiderate drunk, she's an obnoxious inconsiderate person who drinks and shows it! I'm fairly certain that she'd listen to me... Drunk or sober, I'd assertively give her 2 very simple choices...

Shut up and sit down
OR
Here's dry land. Get off my boat NOW!

I don't play games with disrespectful people.... unless she's absolutely smokin hot eye candy and then to be honest I'd probably be a little nicer... Sad how life isn't fair that way LOL

FWIW, kids and adults that refuse to control their kids get the same choices

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Do you remember Natalie Wood? She asked Robert Wagner if she could have a drink. He said " Sure---but don't go overboard."

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Chances are if you make a "No Drinking" rule the cousin will not come and once you are under way you can bend the rules. If you let the cousin decide not to come on her own instead of you not allowing her to come maybe you wife won't be so upset.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

Hi,

I live and work in an area with lots of boating (not Georgia) - there are something like 20,000 lakes in my part of the world. Every year, there are multiple fatalities, frequently involving drinking and boating.

The easiest arguments about this are found online. Take a look at the sites below.

Unlawful And Dangerous Operation | Georgia DNR - Wildlife Resources Division

Deprecated Browser Error

Georgia Public Intoxication Laws | CriminalDefenseLawyer.com

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

smokeonthewater said:

OR
Here's dry land. Get off my boat NOW!

Click to expand...

Or start swimming.

Tell her the boat leaves at noon, cast off at 10 am.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

roscoe said:

Or start swimming.

Tell her the boat leaves at noon, cast off at 10 am.

Click to expand...

That reminds me... years ago I came SOOOO close to leaving a gal floating in a lake (obviously I couldn't but I wanted to).... took a group of folks to the lake in my old arrowglass cuddy... two I knew and the others were their friends.... I stopped at a quick mart and told all to get their food n drinks for the day..... when we got to the lake my trim motor was toast so I spent a couple hours finding parts and fixing while they all ate breakfast, played on the beach and swam... got it all together and burned 30 gallons of gas pulling them all on a tube and dropped anchor.. THEN I found out that she and another gal had eaten both my breakfast and my lunch and she thought it was hilarious even after I explained that I hadn't eaten in like 18 hours ...... sounds like the same type of gal as the O/P's wife's cousin.... Self centered

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

When I ran charters the rule was 'no hard liquor and only 2 beers per person over 21'. Now that no one is paying the rule has changed- 'no alcohol on the boat, not in containers or people'.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

If it comes to a point where she is not listening.... I think she needs to find her way to the open bow by herself and then you can hit it into reverse and watch the show. And then explain the rules again while she tries to figure out what happened. She might comply... or has to... to re-board your boat.

But seriously, that's a tough spot. I hate when people disregard what I have to say when they are using MY stuff.

Re: some input on alcohol/boats

as others have said, it's more of a behavior issue than a boat issue; you'd feel the same way if she came around the house crashing into things and making a mess--although on a boat there is a real danger element, and it's closer quarters.

I bet if you sat her down and told her she can come if she doesn't get drunk and obnoxious, then she'll be OK for a while, then start pouting, then start whining how you say she's drunk and obnoxious--all while she gets drunker and more obnoxious.

A friend's wife is like that and I can't stand being around her when she gets that way--which is constant. It's like trying to have an adult gathering with a 5 year old in a ballerina costume showing off. This is on land, too.

Tell her as captain you get the ticket if someone is on the boat drunk in public, and you can't risk it due to work. It's a lie but sometimes you got to do what you got to do. Actually if she endangers others you could be ticketed for unsafe operation.

I am thankful that around here our boating scene is not a party scene--generally no "party cove" or "sand bar parties" with crowds, annoying music, drunks and people standing around in waist deep water that warms up to 98.6 degrees. You see large groups on boats, or pulled up to a beach, but they are mellow about it. I'm sure I could find a few party areas but I don't need to go looking. It's fun to see the occassional go-fast or a jet ski hot-dogging because it's just that--occassional, not all day dozens of them everywhere.