just a few funnies

Part-time

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 5, 2011
Messages
536
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If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is
it considered rape or shoplifting?
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Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before
they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...
but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that
extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing
the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?
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If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why
is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn,
and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ***?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?
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Do you ever wonder why you gave me
your e-mail address in the first place ?
 

gm280

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Jun 26, 2011
Messages
14,585
Re: just a few funnies

Great funnies...thanks...:laugh:
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Mar 25, 2001
Messages
45,907
Re: just a few funnies

That is at least the second time I have tried to sing those songs. Rowrbazzle. :facepalm:
 

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: just a few funnies

Me too :redface:
 

sam60

Captain
Joined
May 21, 2011
Messages
3,189
Re: just a few funnies

Got me also. Good stuff, thanks!
 

catfish58

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Jul 17, 2011
Messages
158
Re: just a few funnies

We did put a man on the moon before we could make a clock in a car keep time.
 
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