Lessons Learned

F

FlaCowboy

Ensign
Joined
Dec 8, 2011
Messages
973
Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time...:facepalm:

We got married for better or worse...she couldn`t do any better...and I couldn`t do any worse...:rolleyes:

I used to wake up Grumpy...then I learned to let her sleep...:laugh:

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age...:)


Feel free to add your own...:lol:
 
JB

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Mar 25, 2001
Messages
45,907
Re: Lessons Learned

The seeds of wisdom are regrets.
 
jigngrub

jigngrub

Fleet Admiral
Joined
Mar 19, 2011
Messages
8,155
Re: Lessons Learned

Plumbers should never bite their fingernails.

Keep the Icy Hot and Preparation H tubes at least 6 feet apart.

If your wife asks "do these clothes make me look fat?"... don't say "It's not the clothes".
 
nwcove

nwcove

Admiral
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
6,293
Re: Lessons Learned

a tube of monostat and a tube of toothpaste look very much alike at 2am.
 
LippCJ7

LippCJ7

Vice Admiral
Joined
Sep 20, 2010
Messages
5,431
Re: Lessons Learned

Women, Can't live with them, Can't shoot them.
 
coolbri70

coolbri70

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Oct 6, 2011
Messages
1,554
Re: Lessons Learned

if you want it done do it yourself, women are nuts, people are easier to find when they need help with something but when youre in need they nowhere to be found, and don't trust anyone any further than you can afford to be taken for
 
F

FlaCowboy

Ensign
Joined
Dec 8, 2011
Messages
973
Re: Lessons Learned

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Well ya see, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers. :D :laugh:
 
gm280

gm280

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Jun 26, 2011
Messages
14,592
Re: Lessons Learned

Buck Lure and Nasal Sprays should never be put on a night stand...

You can lead a horse to water but you'll never make him fish...
 
ngt

ngt

Master Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Feb 26, 2009
Messages
874
Re: Lessons Learned

Don't eat yellow snow.
 
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