Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

keith2k455

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 23, 2012
Messages
558
OK...so what does everyone do to get on the water at the boat ramp. We've had some issues this year and I'm looking for some advice.

I know I need to back the trailer in and load the craft to the trailer, but what works for everyone else with respect to launching, pulling the empty trailer, docking/beaching, etc?

Your help will make my wife and I enjoy the water much more!
 

h2odick

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Jun 11, 2012
Messages
194
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

When we get to the lake, we pull over, get out, load the boat as usual, remove straps, screw in drain plug, load kids. etc.
I back down ramp into water, get out of truck, jump into boat. Admiral gets into drivers seat of truck, I pull boat off trailer, and head to dock. She goes and parks big truck, and big trailer. She comes down to the dock, jumps onto boat, and off we go!
 

oldjeep

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2010
Messages
6,455
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

I drive the truck and prepare the boat.
Wife and kids hop in the boat while it is on the trailer.
I back the trailer in, disconnect the winch line and she starts the boat and drives the boat away.
Once I've got the truck parked and come back down to the dock she pulls up and I jump in.

Retreival is the opposite.

I used to do everything, back in the trailer hop into boat, drive to dock and tie it off - reverse for loading. Makes it a lot easier to have my wife do the loading and unloading.
 

robert graham

Admiral
Joined
Apr 16, 2009
Messages
6,908
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

Back at home, before you even leave to go to the lake, quietly and patiently go over the details of launching the boat, all the items You're responsible for and all the things She can do to help you make it go smoothly. I believe lots of folks and women in particular have a vague idea of ramp procedures and "what's gonna happen", and that leads to misgivings and misunderstandings. Yelling and cursing at the ramp accomplishes little, except to insure that "you'll be going by yourself" from now on! My wife is a great help to me and we do pretty darn well with the boat!...no yelling, cursing, abusive, impatient language!....
 

emoney

Commander
Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Messages
2,551
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

The key to happiness and sanctity of marriage is all in communication. You've got a great start by seeking advice, so continue on this path and all will be well. Once you devise a system, verbally lay out your plan and get feedback from your wife, as that's the key. I think it's easy for us guys, at least I'm this way, to be "thinking" something but not saying out loud and that can lead to a smidgeon of drama with both parties thinking the other side was wrong, lol. Women are a lot of things, but "mind reader" usually isn't one.

For us, the roles are simple: I prepare the boat before the ramp. If she wants to help, I let her know exactly what I need to do and that's remove the straps and put the plug in. I always back the boat down the ramp, and have found that it's much simpler to float it off the trailer than to go to the effort of driving it off. I hand her the launch rope and once it's floated off, make sure to get it pulled out of the way and tied off. She stays with the boat while I go and park the rig. Easy peasy.

I've found that when we're leaving from the house and the boat is at the dock, that it's easier to have her get comfortable and I cast off the lines by myself. I'm used to doing this anyway when I go out by myself, so there's less confusion if I just handle it. We tend to get this "systems" in our heads and there's no sense fixing it if it isn't broken.

Outside of that, we've also developed a pattern to where she prepares the cooler, towel bags, etc. while I handle all of the boat cleaning and putting up, to include getting it on the lift and flushing the motor. By the time I'm back in the house, she's out of the shower and we look like a well-oiled-machine at this point, lol. Of course, 26 years of marriage helps too.
 

oregoncruiser

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Oct 1, 2010
Messages
180
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

you do everything, and don't complain about it!!
 

projo198

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
316
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

My wife had absolutely no experience w/ boats, but after just a few trips we got this down to a science.

I pull the boat and park to prep.

She takes the kids to the dock and gets them situated (jackets, gear, etc)

Once prepped I back the boat down the ramp until I hear the exhaust bubble in the water.

I get out and unhook the boat, she gets in the truck (I just do it by hand it's easier to watch the kids that way).

I pull the boat out and she takes the truck out and parks.

I get the kids in the boat and fire it up, she walks down and gets in and we are off!
 

Rkrough

Seaman Apprentice
Joined
Dec 1, 2011
Messages
47
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

I follow the same routine as emoney. Two things that will help avoid drama at the ramp while you get your routine down, one is to avoid launching during "rush hour" at the ramp, mid-morning and mid-afternoon are usually less congested. The other is to just relax, Don't worry about how long you are taking at the ramp or doing something embarrassing, everyone screws up occasionally and the guy behind you will always think you are too damn slow anyway.

Docking takes practice. My wife and I used to go to an unused dock and just practice docking for an hour. Just remember when she drops the line over the cleat or bollard the boat should be stopped. It is not her job to stop the boat.

Beaching, If it is sand or mud I come in a bit above idle ,cut the motor and raise it, I let the momentum bring it in the rest of the way. Rocky or debris covered landings she watches for the big rocks and hazards from the bow while I pole the boat in ( long telescoping boat hook comes in handy as a push pole). Once the boat is aground I go over the side and secure a line while she stays in.
 

haulnazz15

Captain
Joined
Mar 9, 2009
Messages
3,720
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

What works for you is going to be entirely dependent on what your wife is willing to do AND finds acceptable. Many people don't want to learn how to back a trailer, and some aren't fit to park a vehicle with a trailer for fear of clipping something with the trailer, lol. I know a lot of people (women in particular, no offense) who refuse to learn how to operate a boat, even at the basic level of backing off of a trailer and going to the courtesy dock. If your wife is comfortable learning to safely operate the boat, and you are comfortable (read confident) that she can do so without injuring herself, others, or the boat, then have her do that.

If you think it's easier to teach her to back a trailer down the ramp, then that's fine, too. I see many that do it all themselves, and the wife is responsible for nothing but keeping the boat at the dock. Of course that assumes you put in at a ramp that has a courtesy dock to tie up to.

I have, on extremely rare occasion, seen a married couple where either partner was fully capable of performing the entire thing by themselves. If your wife is willing to become competent in both boat operation AND trailering/ramp duties, consider yourself one of the luckiest men in the boating world, lol.
 

captain zac

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Oct 15, 2007
Messages
270
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

We have a private ramp so there is less stress than the rest of you guys
but the wife has one Job

PMS


PLUG
MOTOR
STRAPS

She has years of experience and handles PMS like a pro

Harry
 

oldjeep

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2010
Messages
6,455
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

My wife is my driver when I ski, so loading and unloading the boat is a minor thing. I don't even want to think about teaching her how to back up a trailer ;)
 

Home Cookin'

Fleet Admiral
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
9,715
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

every adult (including teenagers) who are involved in boating need to be able to do all of the tasks involved. Once everyone is capable, then you go to roles based on what the individuals are most comfortable with or capable of. It is nothing but pure selfishness to hold up a ramp doing everything yourself while a healthy teen or adult just sits there.

And children should be regarded as means of production (as they were up until the 20th century), not royalty to be coddled.

Anyone who can drive a car can drive a boat and drive a trailer. When my daughter was only 15 with a learner's I coaxed her into driving the trailer 80 miles: country road, highway, and the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel. Just as my dad did for me; i was trailering solo once I was 16.

You will be amazed how much pride they take when they are able to handle stuff. One of the best things you can do for a teenage girl's confidence is teach her how to run the trailer process--she will love showing off for the boys once she's able.

But the only way for them to learn is first to observe you (and all your perfection) and then practice at a isolated location, with only one person instructing. A crowded ramp is no place to learn. Take a day off; pay for a private ramp; practice at a church parking lot in the neighborhood. go out of your way once and see it as an investment.

This may help in the training process: it is a well-established Mystery of Women that they cannot be taught by a husband/boyfriend--whether it's trailering, business, golf or skiing. A total stranger using the exact same words as the H/BF would works like butter. So see if you can do some wife-swapping for the training session.

All that being said, I end up doing most of it, but my wife or daughters could jump into any of the tasks if needed.
 

BTMCB

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Sep 15, 2009
Messages
761
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

DISCLAIMER: I met the admiral at the age of 10, we married at age 19 and are now both 59.

At the Launch: We stop in the prep area. I get into the boat. I deploy the fenders and lines. She hands my her bags, I say "thanks honey, good job". I stow the stuff, she undoes the transom straps and checks to make sure I put the plug in. I say "thanks honey, good job". When we are set, she walks to the dock and I back the trailer down to the waters edge. Get out of the truck, hand her the lines and undo the bow strap. She checks again to make sure the plug is in and the straps are off (so do I). I say "are you ready"? She says "yes". I say "thanks honey, good job". I back the trailer into the water and bounce the boat off, she ties it to the dock. While I go park the truck, she puts the blower on and puts the log book on my seat. When I get to the boat, assuming it is still at the dock, I say "thanks honey, good job". Start the engine and off we go. She stows the fenders. I say "thanks honey, good job".

At retrieval. She deploys the fenders. I say "thanks honey, good job". I dock the boat, tie it up and go get the truck. I put the trailer in the water and go to the boat. She goes to the truck. As we pass, I say "thanks honey, good job". I idle the boat onto the trailer, climb over the bow, winch it up, climb into the bed of the truck and say "ready". She drives us up to the prep area and parks. I say "thanks honey, good job". We spray and wipe down the boat. I do one side and the transom. She does the other side and I say "thanks honey, good job". I re-do the side that she did, we get into the truck, I say "thanks honey, good job" and we drive home. We do this virtually every Saturday. Have it down pat.

When I go solo (about once a week) I obviously do it all myself and say "thanks self, good job".

Good luck
 

H20Rat

Vice Admiral
Joined
Mar 8, 2009
Messages
5,199
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

As little as possible... I'm VERY quick at loading/unloading by myself, I almost prefer nobody interrupt my routine even, it just slows me down. Although normally she pulls the vehicle out after unloading, I'm starting to question that. She had one incident where the vehicle rolled back further than it should have, and she panicked and mashed the gas. Think it might be better for her to 'watch' the boat at the dock for me from now on.
 

jkust

Rear Admiral
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,942
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

We've tried other methods with bad results and so we've settled on that I do everything and she holds the boat at the dock until I return from parking the truck.
 

Brewman61

Ensign
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
996
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

I drive the truck and prepare the boat.
Wife and kids hop in the boat while it is on the trailer.
I back the trailer in, disconnect the winch line and she starts the boat and drives the boat away.
Once I've got the truck parked and come back down to the dock she pulls up and I jump in.

Retreival is the opposite.

I used to do everything, back in the trailer hop into boat, drive to dock and tie it off - reverse for loading. Makes it a lot easier to have my wife do the loading and unloading.

Yup, always helps to have someone who can either run the boat, or drive the rig with the trailer. To me it's easier to have the wife run the boat. Backing the trailer and parking can be problematic at our busier launches so it's easier to have the Mrs. in the boat.
Plus, it's not a bad idea to have at least one other person know how to operate the boat, you never know what could happen out on the water.
 

jclem

Cadet
Joined
Aug 19, 2012
Messages
21
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

Best marriage advice I ever heard: You can be right or you can be happy!

We prep the boat double checking each other make sure nothing is overlooked, and to not cause an unnecessary delay for others waiting to use the ramp. I back/park the trailer, my wife handles the boat, launch and load, she does great! She can handle the towing and backing just as well. As has already been mentioned it's important that multiple people are capable of all tasks related to launching, retrieving, towing.
 

spoilsofwar

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Jun 29, 2011
Messages
1,124
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

you do everything, and don't complain about it!!

This!

I prefer to launch and retrieve by myself, or with a friend. When I'm with the family, I do it myself while they wait. It may take a few extra minutes, but I use a quiet ramp and if someone gets upset over a few minutes of their day being taken by me, they are not the kind of person I care to be friendly with anyway.
 

jsimms724

Petty Officer 3rd Class
Joined
Sep 6, 2011
Messages
82
Re: Marriage advice: Who does what at the boat ramp

when we pull in the prep area we both get out and make ready she takes over the driving from there she backs the boat down like a pro .She can sgueeze a boat in to a space with just inches to spare . I start the boat and move to the courtesy dock and wait. She parks the truck and trailer she then walks down the ramp lookin like a million bucks in a bikini and cutofs she hops in the boat winks at me wiggles down her cutoffs over her bikini bottoms stretches out in a lounger and says "lets go "by the time we leave the no wake zone she is usualy all oiled up and shiney with suntan oil, she asks me how im doin I reply never better sweetie she says "thats good ,hit it honey". Never gets old its like a routine we have done for years:D
 
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