Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

There is kid in high school who lives around the corner. He is always bringing around his mechanical contraptions to see if I can help him fix them. He has been doing this since he was around 8 years old or so. He is a pretty good mechanic and I have been glad to teach him over the years. He loves going out on the boat but his parents won't let him go a lot. They think there is something wrong with a kid hanging around with a 50 year old. I invite them to come but they always turn me down.

He came over last night with this rubber boat he got from a friend of a friend for $80. It is a small rubber boat with a wood transom like the ones sold by Bass Pro shops or West Marine. It is designed to take a small outboard (up to 4 HP) or electric trolling motor. We blew it up and it seems to be fine and hold air with no problems. It needs a lot of cleaning but looks like a good solid little boat.

He had no motor. I had a mid 80s air cooled Sears Gamefisher outboard. 1.75 HP. It was a backup motor for an old fishing boat I had. Sounds like a chain saw when it runs so I never used it and it has maybe 10 hours on it. It has been stored in my attic for at least 10 years. I dug it out and we got it running. Started real easy and sounds good. Since I never use it I gave it to him. Why not? I thought it would be cool to help him out and get him started in boating.

His parents called me tonight and went ballistic. They said I was wrong and should have asked them first. They told me I need to come get the motor back, that he can't have it. No matter what I said they would not change their mind. I told them I was busy and could not make it tonight. What to do? I don't want the motor back. I gave it to him. I can't believe these people.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

That's pretty weird, I don't understand how you're in the wrong for trying to help the kid out. Did they give a reason why he can't have the motor? I would just nicely tell them you can't take it back. It's not like it's something illegal or anything? This is just so odd LOL.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

hanging out with older people is awesome! great advice, etc.

maybe they're afraid he might get hurt?

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

I think that you did well by not having time to go get it tonight, give them time to think about it and let their initial anger cool somewhat. You have no idea of their side of whats going on, could be that your young apprentice didn't give you the whole story. Let us know what happens tomorrow

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Toss in too that they might be afraid of boats. Sounds like they've turned you down on several occasions, and don't approve of him going with you. I'm often surprised at how many people are deathly afraid of boats. If they are, it would fit that they went ape over you giving him the motor and encouraging him.

You might consider honoring their wishes as a show of "good faith." If they let him keep the boat for a while as a row-boat, you can always tell him "the motor is there for you when your folks say it's okay." Maybe over time they'll soften up some.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Far too often boys that hang out with older men are in danger. It is sad, sad testimony to our modern society.

Like coolguy, I hung out with a number of older men as a boy. They were my mentors in the absence of my Dad and I learned a lot from them as well as having a non-judgmental ear I could talk things over with. I have written about several in the iboats Review.

But there was a big difference. My Mom knew these men and trusted them. Also, during the 30s and 40s our society wasn't paranoid about older, predatory men harming their children.

Your young protege's parents obviously don't know you and trust you. The rule of "Don't talk to strangers" can be very overdone and it appears they fear for their boy's safety. For all they know you could be the boogie man.

Take the motor back. Apologize to the parents and tell them you understand their fears.

You might choose to ask how you might gain their trust so that your mentor/protege relationship may continue.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Well said JB. . Sad but so true.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Where were the parents when he was 8 years old and you were helping him out?

How did you come to know that they think there is something wrong with the boy hanging around with a 50 year old.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

you can mentor me if you want.... I am in need of a couple mercruiser alternators.... lol

I agree with the suggestion to respect their wishes and get the motor back.... Maybe you could offer to sell it to him in exchange for working.... mowing grass or washing the boat etc.... Maybe invite them over for burgers on the grill instead of boating.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

When I was younger, I had the benefit of being befriended by some adults. That's how I got into boating. Unfortunately, my parents couldn't afford a boat. If it weren't for my adult friends, my only boating experience would have been going fishing on the headboats in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, a few times per year. Because of a friendship between myself (as a child), and an adult neighbor with children, I was introduced to boating, I was taught to build custom fishing rods, and I discovered that scuba diving was not just for people on TV!!! I'm sure I'm a better person today for having had adult friends as a child.

Smokeonthewater seems to have a good plan. Sounds like this child is worth the effort to you. Good luck; and please let us know how all of this unfolds.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Hanging out with old men (50 year olds) gives me the creeps too!

JB is spot on in his response. Honor their wishes, give them time to cool down, and see what you can do to gain their trust.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

Tough to say without being there, but I guess I agree to give it time and see how it goes. As for kids hanging out with older men, I dunno, maybe I just grew up in the sticks, but that was never an issue.

My best friend when I was growing up passed away of leukemia at 12 years old. He was an only child, and his father kinda took me under his wing and taught me most of what I know about motors. I spent alot of time with him working on all kinds of contraptions. One day I asked what was under the tarp in the back yard and he said just an old snowmobile. You guessed it, with in a few weeks, we had a new motor swapped in, and the thing was running. He told me to ask my parents if I could have it, and of course they imediatly said no. About a week later, my mom gives me a box with an old helmet in it and says go get the snowmobile. Rey and I continued to work on it more than I ever rode it, but I still had a blast and learned a ton. Fast forward about 3 years, we did the exact same thing all over again with a 1971 Honda CL450 motorcycle. That one took a little longer for my parents to agree to, but I still ride to this day.

Maybe invite the parents out on the boat again and tow the inflatable out. They can supervise and see you teaching the son valuable safety and mechanical lessons.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

JB's advice regarding giving back the boat is spot on....it will reset what appears to be a good working arrangement so far.
As far as 'kids' in danger....well, statistically kids are more likely to be abused, killed or molested by family members or close family friends more than they are by the general public. As well, never before in history have kids and young people been more self-aware of these dangers and yet never before have parents been more afraid....go figure, the marketing of fear through media hype.
Regardless, sounds like you've helped him out a lot....good on ya!!
BP

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

It could be a jealous type nature of the parents. My dad had a autobody shop and had the dreams of me taking it over in later years. My neighborhood was nothing but farm land. Closest neighbors were a mile away. Every chance I got, I was at my neighbors. That is where I learned a lot about live stock, and farming the land. My Dad would get real mad that I wasn't helping him when I would be helping out the farmer down the road. It was a dang if I do and dang if I don't. When I would do my best to help Dad out, it was always lots of negativity in what I did for him. About the only thing I did for him in a positive way was sweeping the floor of the shop.

I'm thinking that in this situation, the parents of the boy may feel that they can't compete with the neighbor in teaching him things they don't know much about. It is sad that things like this goes on. Or the parents don't want the possibilty that they feel that they will owe you something in return.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

The parents are the parents. They are in control of their son. While the majority of us wouldn't care if someone gave the boy an outboard, he was basically given a form of transportation with no concern for parental approval. Considering the parents don't seem to be boaters this puts them in a position where the son could be in trouble and the would not have any idea how to keep him safe.

Maybe they just realise that an outboard under 2 HP is pretty much a dust collector. Lol

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

I just think that there are so many things that we may not know. I for one would wonder why someone is doing this. The things that go on today are so scary. I agree, take the motor back and try to respect the parents. I'm sure they think they are doing the right thing. Try to get to know the parents if you want to continue helping out the boy. It seems that your heart is in the right place,,,, BUT we are only hearing your side of the story.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

There could easily be something going on at home that you don't know about. Respect the parent's wishes.

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

yikes, it they got mad over this little thing can you imagine how angry they might be over everything on a daily basis... poor kid & dad with a controlling mom/wife... maybe the kids dad is jealous because he has 0 mechanical ability's to teach his boy... maybe they just like to be left alone and do their own thing... maybe the parents are angry because the kid has a mechanical know how and doesn't wanna be a numbers cruncher... thank god my parents let me learn, go experience life When the boy turns 18 I guess you will get to see the real story.... My sister in law is that way with her kids, ripps me a new one anytime I teach them about toys with gasoline motors ( go cart hidden in my garage for when their moms grows up and lets them live life a little instead of playing video games all the time)

but sometimes we just gotta let them hang them have the respect, even though it's probably not deserved.... give it time to soak in their mind a lil bit I think it will turn out for the better

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

I'm 20 now (I guess that still makes me a kid in this situation ) , but I never would have gotten this far in boating if it weren't for the help of an older guy. When I was 17 and got my first boat... I knew nothing. I wound up goign to buy an 80 horse johnson from this guy who said he would help me swap it with my 70 chrysler... well, long story short we wound up talking quite a bit and he actually showed me what was wrong with my motor and fixed it... for free. I insisted he take 20 bucks.. but ove rthe years he's been incredibly helpful and just recently came to look at my new project.. my parents never questioned it and they trusted my judgement... my dad has always been the first to admit that he can't tell a wrench from a screwdriver and was happy that I had someone else to help out with all my projects... good luck with your situation and let us know how it turns out

Re: Gave a motor to a kid I know and his parents went ballistic

I tore everything apart I could when I was a kid, many times would put back together and they would work when hey didn't before. This may not be th problem though, I have seen kids (teenagers) die from getting into bad situations when left on their own, this could be what they are scared of. Lie the kids tht tried shooting a dam in a canoe and drowned, worse part was several fireman died tried to save them. If the kid has a good head on his shoulders culd be they just hate seeing him grow up. Take the motor back but maybe try and make friends with his parents, let them know you are a good guy, and their son will grow up one way or another. Maybe they will come around.