i have power going in to the starter relay but not out.......
This sure sounds a lot like a bad ground. If the ground near the starter isn't well connected then you would certainly have trouble running power through the relay. You have to have a good ground or power will not go anywhere. Electricity follows the path of least resistance and in this case that's accomplished by just staying put.
Remove the ground connection from near the starter and wire brush both the ring terminal and the motor. Better yet use a dremel wire brush if you have one. Get both good and shiny, and the bolt head that holds it down good and shiny.
The relay on the TT clicking could indicate that you've got enough power flowing to flip a little relay but not quite enough to jump the starter solenoid. The no power at all screams faulty ground.