Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

My wife is a teacher in an elementary school in a very affluent area. This has its up side and down side. Parents have high income and are very involved with the school. In fact, they seem to have so much influence that some teachers have quit due to chronic complaints by the parents to the principal and superintendent. I have to admit, I (or my wife) have no knowledge of why these teachers had so many complaints and the nature of their leaving the school system.

Due to the "no student left behind" legislation, there are 2 to 6 students in my wife's classes (depending on grade and class) that are Learning Disabled. They need special help, and up to lately have had "Teachers Assistants" (aka Teachers in Training or College Students who need hours in the school system for their degree). The Teachers Assistents took care of any disruptive behavior and the special learning needs of these kids in a normal class environment.

The problem is my wife tells me how disruptive these kids are. Some are serious ADD, some are VAA (violent act outs), but most just have trouble paying attention to the teacher. So these kids are a constantly disrupting the class. The teacher must stop teaching and address the child's issue, and determine if its bad enough to be sent out of the class room. That usually means seeing the Principal. Precious minutes are wasted out of every class, and the toll on the teacher degrades their performance in subsequent classes.

With the cut backs in funding lately, the teachers assistants are now gone. The teacher must run the class with the standard set of class room issues, PLUS handle the problems from the "special needs" children. This is just totally derailing my wife's curriculum for her classes.

To make things worse, those influential parents are now complaining that my wife is failing their kids for not doing homework and passing quizzes and tests. So the "problem" kids get slammed with bad grades because they can't make the grade requirements. Then the parents complain wanting their "special needs" kid to get not only a passing grade, but to give them "A" and "B" ratings across the board.

This really rubs my wife the wrong way, as these kids are disrupting the class, can not learn with traditional methods, have no interest in learning, yet their parents want them to be "given" good grades so they have good self esteem.

My wife says "BS". She continues to fail the students, and sends emails to the parents stating that they need to check the kids homework, to read more, to help them with the daily assignments. All the info about what each class covers in now posted on the schools website so there is no excuse for a parent to say they have no idea what is going on in class. Posting this info takes hours of my wifes time every week that she is not paid for, yet complaining parents don't seem to be able to find this info.

I told my wife to just fail the kids. Plain and simple and let the parents complain, and the Principal will handle the fall out.

My wife is licensed to teach certian subject to various grades. She was never trained as a "Special Education" teacher.

I think these special needs kids really need their own class. Just like when I was in school. Why burden the teachers with disruptive kids when its known that these kids are a real problem??? Especially seeing as these kids are a major burden to add on top of the daily antics of "normal" kids... talking, fighting, passing notes, bullying, etc. Now add Special Needs on top, and its just too much.

End of Rant.

(BTW, my wife hates the teachers union and wishes they would stop taking her income and giving her nothing in return).

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

That is a very touchy subject. I used to be involved in teaching but no more. Recently, (this past Monday night) I was at a big meeting concerning the budget.

With the "special needs" (better term then LD )students..... the original plan supplied one on one supervision but recently the trend has changed. It was not uncommon to see 6 adults assisting 6 special needs students .....the change has been a cut back. they have reduced the adult aids and yes it has been a challenge.

I agree the curriculum has changed since we were kids and the environment has too. Regardless of where you go in this world those special needs kids will grow up and find their niche which will be in the path of everyone. That's life.....get used to it.

Now a special program has been working very well in our local school. (Keep in mind students K-12 are in one building here) It is called the handshake program. As part of the learning for the older students they are required to do some form of community service and community involvement. They partner the senior and junior class with younger students. They "tutor" the special needs students as well as the regular students..... (almost a similar program of the old Big Brother/Big Sister program back in the 60's & 70's). The program works great! It creates bonds and helps everyone. The younger students are doing better and the older students are learning valuable life skills.

I do not know how your school system is set up but it may be worth a telephone call (West Rutland HS and ask for Joe Bowen, Principal) for your wife.

I am a person who steps out of the box. I seek solutions and unique ways to make things better. I feel for your wife's dilemma between the students and the union but, coming home and "ranting/venting" at Mark may be physically helpful to the Mrs. but seeking a solution might be better.

BTW while I was a soldier ......... I had a specific tree out behind my office......... when people had to vent, yell and complain.... I would suggest that they go scream at the tree. Yelling at the tree did nothing but allow them to vent and was as effective as complaining w/o a solution. Now when soldier's wanted to vent AND had a possible solution ....... my door was open.

BTW my MIL has been a special needs teacher for over 20+ years in the Woodstock VT school district and MANY of the special needs students are a direct result of stupid parents who lack the skills and/or neglect their kids! I am certain your wife has the skills and experience to see how the sad home situations makes her job harder.

Hug the wife this evening and tell her that was a thank you hug from her iboats supporter's

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

My wife and I are both in public education. Actually, my entire family are educators. What you are describing (and oh so much more) is what we face all day, every day.

Sometimes I feel like I am fighting a losing battle to provide what my students need to be successful. It's frustrating to say the least.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

Quote.....I think these special needs kids really need their own class. Just like when I was in school. Why burden the teachers with disruptive kids when its known that these kids are a real problem??? Especially seeing as these kids are a major burden to add on top of the daily antics of "normal" kids... talking, fighting, passing notes, bullying, etc. Now add Special Needs on top, and its just too much. End Quote

It was this way when I was in school also. Parents would take notice when their child went to special education.....and some children would notice big time that they were falling behind and try to change. It is sad that politics have "done it again".......

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

I think I am very sensitive to the situation knowing that my wife was hired at 3/4 salary, works 3/4 hours (supposedly). In reality, she is there the same time as the other teachers, plus spends one or two evenings late at school with her peer teachers working out new class room curriculum so the kids don't get board. So now she is working full time hours, plus overtime hours, all for 3/4 pay.

Its great that she was able to find a job in this economy. But now I say enough is enough. And I wish the damn union would stop taking money out of her paycheck when they have no intention of giveing it back in unemployment benefits if/when she gets laid off. This annoys her to no end, because the union will do nothing to address these class room and work load situations, or any other personal employment situation. But let there be legislation to stop a union from donating money to a political cause, and all hell breaks loose with the union.

So there it is.... Parents complain, Union doesn't give a flip, and the teacher is left out in the cold to fend for themselves when attacked by parents.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

I didn't get geometry, became disruptive, and they sent me to study hall. My parents weren't happy but they certainly didn't blame the teacher. It isn't fair to make a whole class suffer people that can't behave, for whatever reason. Good luck.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

My baby sister was a Special Ed. teacher for over 40 years before she retired. She has a special magic with children and was practically adored by her students. I don't recall her ever ranting about students or parents.

All of my teaching was adults, first in the military, then in high tech industry and finally in Technical Colleges and University summer institutes. I did eject one student, an adolescent, for disrupting classes, in all the time, but in general had no student or parent problems.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

Most of today's problems relate back to two or three issues. Funding, parental involvement, (that being either a positive or negative) and our societies insistence that all students be treated equally. Notice I did not say fairly. Those issues coupled with the "policy driven" inability of the teachers to discipline the unruly students creates the issues teachers are facing today.
The Union aspect is a whole other issue. And unfortunatly breaking that hold is never easy or cheep.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

Limited-Time said:

Most of today's problems relate back to two or three issues. Funding, parental involvement, (that being either a positive or negative) and our societies insistence that all students be treated equally. Notice I did not say fairly. Those issues coupled with the "policy driven" inability of the teachers to discipline the unruly students creates the issues teachers are facing today.
The Union aspect is a whole other issue. And unfortunatly breaking that hold is never easy or cheep.

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Limited Time I think you hit it on the head. We live in a nice area and only our public school within the district that was recently a Blue Ribbon school. We have line of parents that want to help out and donate to the school both time and money. On the edge of the district but still inside it, one town over with a completely different demographic, this is not the case. It is truly a cliche. Parental involvement is the key to our schools top national ranking. When they need money for computers/staffing or whatever, we send it directly where funding falls short. I come from a line of college and HS professors and teachers. Yale, U of M, and MN public schools.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

I think the education system needs to be revamped. It works for some but doesn't work for many of our kids, and, as corny as it sounds, they are our future. Eighty years ago there were a ton of factory type jobs that kids could do out of high school, but not so much anymore. We have the same teaching system that we did 100 years ago but times have changed considerably and to stay competitive with other nations, we need to evolve with the times.

All this makes me happy we homeschool our boys. It's made our family much closer and we don't have to worry about the bullies or unruly kids influencing our boys.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

A word about "equal" treatment. It cheats all students equally.

I went to a Catholic convent school for my first two years. I think that I got treated according to my abilities and needs.

When I transferred to a public school they put me in grade 5. The rest of my public school "education" was pure hell. I was always the smallest, least socially developed student in my class; a target for every bully. All that was aggravated by the fact that I reached puberty in my 16th year and sang soprano in the school glee club as a senior. All of the girls that I aspired to date treated me like a kid brother.

I HATED SCHOOL!! In class I was bored to tears, I rarely did any homework and I was graded on how hard I tried, not on what I learned. Athletics? I was turned down as waterboy because I couldn't run with two full buckets.

When I got into Navy schools I excelled. I think it was because it was competitive and results based. If you didn't pass the tests you flunked and had to repeat or leave.

I also excelled in College and not-for-credit courses. My Ph.D is Summa Cum Laude, (4.0 average).

My half brother did not have my talent for academics and it took him 14 years to graduate from High School. If he hadn't measured up he repeated. He was very successful in everything but grades and had a very successful career before retiring.

The point is that focusing only on protecting one's self esteem is a stupid and futile strategy. Focusing only on academics is just as bad.

Treating each student according to that student's needs and abilities is what is really meant by "equal" treatment. My experience and my Brother's experience were 65-70 year ago, but children are still children and develop or suffer the same mistakes and wisdom that we did.

I have no suggestion for dealing with the "We can't afford to do it right" syndrome, but it has already doomed us to mediocrity in the world and we are sinking.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

JB said:

A word about "equal" treatment. It cheats all students equally.

I went to a Catholic convent school for my first two years. I think that I got treated according to my abilities and needs....................................................................................................................................................


I have no suggestion for dealing with the "We can't afford to do it right" syndrome, but it has already doomed us to mediocrity in the world and we are sinking.

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That's the point I was referring to. To treat a student "fairly" would be to treat them as their developmental situation dictated.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

Both my brothers were special ED one in school with special classes and some amount of time with the general student body and one was so beyond it had to be done at home (This was 1970 era stuff)

It worked out well as had my parents followed the advise of the times my brothers would have been institutionalized so instead my younger brother is self supporting and does various low level jobs my older brother now gone was at least able to live independently at a much lower cost to society than full time in some type of institution

To have put either of them in regular classes would be absurd

In the present day as part of finishing her MSW my daughter just did a 6 month session at a High School in bad local area ,she had 39 pregnant girls to deal with everyday and a steady stream of angry kids living in pretty bad conditions

The next step for the angry kids is my son the ADA and its nothing for him to deal with a 20 year old with a 20 page rap sheet

The whole thing is kind of depressing

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

A good movie to watch on this subject is Waiting on Superman. Available at Red Box............."It's a real eye opener"

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

Mark42 said:

My wife is a teacher in an elementary school ....
End of Rant.

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Thanks for posting that. I actually had to check the user name to make sure I didn't post while grading papers last night.

My wife was hired as a Jr. High teacher less than 24 hours before the start of classes. This is her first teaching job after leaving corporate life and it has been a significant challenge. I think she had an idealistic view of angelic children with minds receptive to her teaching. What she found herself in is a junior version of "Dangerous Minds". Discipline takes up makes up most of the class time. Many are failing and many more should...but that is as far as I should go on a public board.

The second semester has gone better, since I convinced her to stop trying to win them with sweetness and embrace her "inner ninja". Mrs. Ninja scares me sometimes.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

That movie "Waiting for Superman" was insane and made me feel bad for millions of kids all over. I hope & pray that people can put politics and bickering aside & do what's needed for actually teaching and guiding our nation's kids.

I also think many teachers get the shaft too. Many parents are letting the school system raise their kids and instilling discipline in them rather than the parent doing their parental jobs.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

Well I have seen the situation from the side of the student, having gone to LD classes from the second grade through middle school before anyone ever tried to help me learn and I can not tell you how frustrating it can be wanting to learn about something and not being able to learn from the standard curriculum or given enough time to take a test because you have to read the same problem five or seven times to understand it and just as long to get the answer on paper.

I know the demand being put on teachers is ever increasing and some parents do not care about working with their children or teaching them self control or discipline. but I don't think all students should be written of if they have a learning disability.

If it weren't for a teacher taking interest in me and why I had trouble I probably would have never become literate let alone graduate high school.

Thank you Jack Wallington for taking an interest in me and giving me the opportunity to learn.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

I was schooled in England , average 40 children to a class.
Uniforms are mandatory, discipline strict.
There are no public employee unions, thats illegal.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

My fiancee is a teacher in a special needs school for behavioral students. She has some students that I actually know the parents from my police work. Several others the parents are either in jail or who knows where and they are in either the foster care system or the grand parents are raising them.

When I was in school I had to have some extra help, I remember going to a tutor twice a week instead of study hall, really helped me. As far as the "no student left behind" policy In my opinion I find that to be one of the things that is dragging us down. It's like giving everyone a trophy just for playing regardless of how they do.

Re: Are you a Teacher or spouse of a Teacher?

I've always like the idea of competition. Let folks take their tax money, voucher or whatever and shop for a school. We had a political dust up in our district a few years back. Against the will of the city residents with some unethical behaviour mixed in, some of our top performing schools were "repurposed" to magnet schools with the idea of bringing minorities in. Entire neighborhoods and communities were originally built literally around these schools and all the kids were kicked out. All the class sizes of the schools that weren't repurposed grew by several kids to accomodate the displaced students. The school almost instantly went downhill as did the standards. That kind of stuff is simply detrimental to the students.