Re: starter
If you are getting 12.65 volts at the starter while cranking yet she still wont engage, time to get the starter rebuilt/replaced.
If your voltage is shy, time to backtrack. Ensure the battery is fully charged and load tested as mentioned. Clean tight connections. Dont just look at them, take them off, polish to a shine, then re tighten. This includes ground. Ensure cables are not rotted internally. A crunching sound when you flex them is a sure sign of inner corrosion. Voltage drop testing is an ideal method for troubleshooting this.
Let us know what you find. There are a few other possibilities if this checks out.
As a side note, if you do oil the bendix, be sure that it is a light oil, like sewing machine oil or 3 in 1....and only a little.