3 MEN IN A BOAT

Years ago when I had a 14'jon boat,two friends and I were fishing a pond. The one guy was and still is very bad at casting.He cast like a pitcher throwing a knuckle ball you have know idea where it's going.So I put the guy who can't cast in the front so I would not have to worry about him.We caught a few small bass then all of a sudden I here the guy in the middle yell. YOU A%$HOLE! AND SOME OTHER CHOICE WORDS.I looked around and hanging right below the middle guys eye was a REBEL DEEP TINY WEE CRAWDAD!Both sets of hooks were buried in the skin.........OUCH!I thought they were going to start to fight right there.The guy in the front tried to cast and his arm came back to far and bamm!..That was the last time I had three guys in ANY BOAT.We got the hooks out then later laughed about it.

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LOL.Yes, pain will make you say and do things that are waaaay outta character! I got in a bad motorcycle wreck. My right foot was facing my tailight, and the bone went thru my levis!<br />I was cool,calm,and in spite of the obvious pain,was joking with the paramedics, and durring transport to the hospital. It wasn't until the doctor showed up to reset it... FIRST ATTEMPT--Holy howlin horse taters!!! That was painfull! "Doc, was that nessecary?"<br />He said "yes, and I hate to tell ya,I'm not done"<br />YANK!!!! "AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH SOMINA BENCH!! Doc, if you try that agin I'm gonna cold-cork ya!!"<br />"Mr.Ware,"he said, "I have to set this bone straight,and I can't give you anything for the pain.So just relax and"---He didn't finish what he was saying and with all his might, YANK!!! I sat straight up,drew-back and swung. He musta seen this,or expected it,because he ducked,and I conacted the nurse's arm (who was holding me down).."Owwww!" she said. Doc said,"Mr Ware, if you pull that stunt again, we'll have to restrain you.Do you understand that? do you want th---"YANK!!! "SOMINA BENCIN DIRTY ROTTEN **** S**#ER! I'M GONNA @#$% the G** D#!* S**T OUTA YOU!! COME CLOSER, YOU G** D*** ***** and **** the #$*** "!!<br /><br />Doc said,"It's cool, Mr Ware,it's cool..I got it that time. Now the nurse can give you something for the pain". I looked at the nurse, and she was holding this 7"long needle,and had this smirk on her face...I said, "No thanks, I'll be allright...Sorry I hit you Ms Nurse lady...I'll be good,honest".

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i think i pult sumthin rotflmaO

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i expect everyone else who's been around 40yrs has had just about every kind of accident like i have. anyway, here's a toast to 12ftr-<br />i learned alittle taekwondo when young&stupid, you know, just enuff to get yourself hurt.<br />so i was workin in a carpet mill... the @$@!! vending machine ripped you off just when u had your last $2.00 everytime. and this once i was in there by myself. so i was hungry,po'd,generally impatient, and decided that maybe the ole slamdunk would do it, since others had done it, and gotten their change +more. so i took a couple steps, leaped up and put a mean forward(crescent)kick on that puppy. it made a hellofanoise - no food,no money. <br />then realized my foot hurt like hell. looked at it- my cheapo paper thin tennishoe sole had a big chunk missing where i accidentally hit the little lever that gives you change. by the next morning i found i had cracked the middle toe bone right at the ball of my foot, plus had a laceration and skin removed from 2 inner toes i had a big 'knot' on it for @ 6mos, when i could walk without it being painful...

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12footer, Thanks for the laugh it made my %&%@**%*!*&^!@! day. It started out bad but just got better, thanks.

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Pretty funny 12Footer, I know how you feel though.I was going skiing one weekend a few years ago. I was in a hurry, beautiful day you know? Launched boat, parked trailer. I started jogging down the dock when I noticed guy washing his boat off & the wood dock was kinda wet where he was spraying. Jogged by, slipped on the wet dock & fell into the water. Great feeling being under water. My foot started throbing when I finally got out of the water, really hurting. I looked at the bottom of me foot & a big chunk was missing. A nail head was sticking up from one of the boards in the dock where i had slipped & was covered with blood & a large piece of my foot. I pulled boat back out & went to the hospital. Sat there for about 4 hours. Doctor finally comes in & looks at my foot, pretty bad he says. We will have to clean it out & get some of that sand out of there. He said it might hurt a little so hold on to something. He took a bandage in both hands & started sawing back & forth on the bottom of my foot. Man, you talk about hurt. He started laughing when I started cussin. Come on he said, it can't be that bad. That somna***** was killing me. No pain medicine though, He gave some of that later, after the stiches were in. Great thinking, give simething for the pain after killing the patient.

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I can't undersand, for the life of me, why doctors can't give you something for the pain before they start poking, prodding, twisting and turning????<br /><br />I recently went through some scary things with my oldest son. I can take a lot of pain, but I'll tell you, someone starts messing with one of my children and I turn into ONE MEAN SOB!!

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12Footer,<br /><br />LOL......<br />That's gotta be about the funniest clean dirty story I've ever read.<br /> <br />You a comedian at that night job? <br /><br />May want to give up your day job, or keep doing both

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ouch............... I was walking mydog 7 years ago and I was 8 so when Iwas walking my mom who is in front starts running my Doggy "pepper" ra and pulled me down dragged me up the streat 6 stitches on my eye lash couldent see out of eye for a month and 20 other stiches on my legs I still love that dog shes watching me type this now... I also flipped a bike while I lived in california (moved to Wv when I was 13) and the bike had the brakes reversed so I pressed the brake for the back wheel and the front wheel locked andi flew forwardmy whole lower lip fell off that hurt like hell getting the stitches and staples! when I was 10 I slammed a door and light fell on my head ten stiches on my skelp and they had to put me in a restrain jacket so I would stop screaming.... I passed out so I dont remember that they had to give me more blood.

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Well Sailboaty here's your redneck.<br /> Abuot 20 yrs ago(in my early 20's),hung over from night before and feeling lousy.I desided to fix gate to my moms back yard, just a couple of screws needed, no big deal right.So I broke out the drill to make pilot holes.Reached over top of gate to hold board still and drill hole right through board and left hand.Calmly backed out bit and chunk of meat leaving nice 3/16 hloe in hand.Got in my truck and headed for emergency room where Doc said They could only clean out Because hole was perfect(nothing to sewup)So he took A 3/16X4" tube attached to a bottle of batedine shoved in Hole,this hurt but when he started pumping this stuff in my hand it began to swell like a rubber glove blown up like a ballon. That when the real pain came but never any pain killers. doc said swelling would go down in two or three day and to take asprin, Ha! borrowed Mom's darvaset.Never drill with out backerboard.

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One fine day I decided to mow the lawn..<br /><br />I was wearing shoes.. and after a few minutes of mowing I realised the mower was set to high, so I used my foot to push the lever down.. <br /><br />it slipped off the lever and went straight under the mower which was running WOT...<br /><br />anyway, I didn't feel anything at the time but rubbing, so I didnt' think that it did more then touch the top of the shoe so I kept mowing.. then I noticed that I was leaving a trail of blood behind the mower.. looked down and the end of the shoe was missing completly, as was the end of my big toe down to about 1/4 of the toenail, bone sticking out.. swear I didn't feel a thing at the time.<br /><br />Considering the number of accidents I have had, I am usually very calm about it, but for some reason I just wandered around the backyard for half an hour wondering if it was serious enough to call some one for.. lost alot of blood.<br />finially someone showed up and took me away.. but by that time the backyard looked like a slaughterhouse... I must have got mild shock and gotten confused.<br /><br />I've also had concussion about 7 times, knocked myself out 3 times, and fell off a cliff when I was 10, (yeah, yeah, make your jokes about that explaining how I am now... <br /><br />man's not a man unless he has the scars to prove it... <br /><br />rgds<br /><br />franki

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12 Footer.....Thanks for the F**kin laugh...I ( We ) about sh*t ourselves lauhgin'......Sounds painfull , but I didn't fell a thing!!!!!

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Man, I thought I was accident prone.<br />I think Franki is right about being a man and having the scars to prove it.<br />I did shave off my kneecap with a 15lb chainsaw cutting high limbs. It got heavy so I just kind of let it fall and my knee happened to be there.<br />Didn't hurt much so I carried on until I felt warmth running down my shin. I had coveralls on so i peeled everything off to look. I didnt know bone was so white. Went back to the house and trimmed all the hanging flesh off and doused it with rubbing alcohol(ouch) and taped it together.<br />My mom was a nurse so I kind of knew what to do. Besides its embarasing to go to the ER when they know you by your first name.

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GarageGuy42 ,, funny..<br /><br />but beat this, ALL the doctors and nurses at the hospital where I grew up, knew my first and last name and most of my medical history.. I swear it...<br /><br />during years 11 and 12 at high school I sent the majority of my time in that hospital, First I got a weird blood condition, (like partial hemophilia) and then lots of motorcross accidents, bone marrow tests and general accidents.. they used to joke that I had a bed with my name on it.<br /><br />funny thing though, I have only broken one bone, and that was a tiny bone in my foot, from training on my motocross bike bare foot. (I know, dumb)...<br /><br />no permanent injuries, but I have scars on every finger of both hands, on my back, front and both legs, and quite a few on my head...<br /><br />if I shaved my head it'd look like a golf ball.. (and not a very good one.)<br /><br />but I don't reget any of it... I will certainly not allow any kid of mine to do the same though.<br /><br />If I had a dollar for every time a doctor told me I was lucky to be alive, I would have a 55 foot boat. (I was not supposed to do anything involving contact because of my blood condition as a bang on the head could cause embolism.. but I soon proved that it wasn't likely <br /><br />rgds<br /><br />Frank<br /><br />rgds<br /><br />Frank

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when i a kid ,, we'd have contest to see who could run head first into this telephone pole.. well guess who won the title of 'sir king knots-alot'

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Years ago, worked in a nut shelling factory, pecans, well haveing worked there many yrs and worked my way up to sup. I got to see alot of pain<br />and blood espectilly with all the equipment used to crack nuts!!!(not those nuts) Well I was allways the guy people came to when injured, to patch them up, or run to the emergency rm. Well I thought I had pretty much seen it all, but for the one guy who put his index finger in a nut shelling mach. well it pritty much did to his finger what it would do to the nut....SMASHED it , Loaded him up in the co. pickup trk and off we went to the ER.RM. The guy was in alot of pain<br />and the doctor gave him something for it right away. I stayed with all my injured people in the ER RM, and watched, well after cleaning the finger, what was left, the doctor had his needle and thread and pushed it up from the bottom side of his finger and was pushing the needle up through his finger nail, well that was it for me,<br />I felt queezy and fait, and had to leave the room.<br />The nurse asked me if I was going to be allright??<br />That I looked pale! Anyway, the guy ended up with a nub, and I quit going into the ER RMS.

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Pee can shucker? Is that a hi-tek job in Kansas or just similar to a chicken choker from Alabama?

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Same difference!

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Franki, are you sure you aren't typing all of this with a pencil in your teeth or maybe just talking with a limp.<br /><br />As far as chicken chokers, that is in ARkansas. Us hillbilly's here in kansas that live out where the hoot owls screw the chickens just drive trash trucks and such. Just got promoted to lead trash truck driver. That means I get first pick on the bring home stuff. What a glorious day that was. How do you think I got this PC.

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was leaving my favorite waterin' hole after work<br />one night and stepped on a patch of black ice...<br />my right foot twisted all the way to the left as<br />I fell flat on my face, SNAP! <br />didn't hurt a bit but heard my leg snap. I'm about<br />half way between my car and the bar now, so I <br />start crawling on hands and knees to my car.<br />get there finally, pull muself up on the good leg<br />and drive to the adjoining parking lot to the bar<br />for help. thank god a buddy is walking out as I<br />pulled up. " didn't you leave a half hr. ago?"<br />he says....<br />quickly explain and he takes me to the emergency <br />room. this hospital is one of the best in the <br />area, but it gets all the bad cases and is so<br />busy that they have no avail. rooms, so they<br />can't admit me, which means no anesthesia...<br />pump a bunch of morphine into me and then start<br />tugging and twisting. my leg has a spiral fracture<br />broken at the bottom in the front and the top in<br />the back. I am now screaming bloody murder and<br />all the doctor can say is "hold still" yeah right!<br />after tugging and pulling and twistin' on my leg<br />for what seemed an eternity, they finally get it<br />set and put a cast up to my knee, and send me<br />off to the x-ray dept. to check out their work.<br />wouldn't you know.... it's not set right !!!!<br />you gotta be kidding me!<br />now remember, they can't knock me out because<br />they can't admit me. so they mix up some sort<br />of crazy drug cocktail and feed it to me. <br />take the cast off and start twisting again.<br />was not un-concious, but don't remember a thing.<br />my wife was there by this time ( not at all happy<br />about my stopping at the bar after work) and tells<br />me that I screamed just as loud the 2nd time.<br />eventually got casted up to my a$$, and spent the<br />night in the emergency room with what seemed like<br />a 500 watt light shining down in my face all night<br />of course the most painful part was being laid up<br />in bed for 6 weeks with a REALLY angry wife<br />taking care of me..." <br />that one hurt in more ways than 1.... LOL