valentine message

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!


Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Your hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like a bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfying as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin overhead.
You ain't mean like those faar ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, its perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Re: valentine message

That was baaaad TD....

Was visiting in the Ozarks, and stopped by a flee market. Up by the cash register there was a wooden 5 gallon barrel that had a bunch of false teeth of all kinds, even some carved wooden ones. The sign said, Drop off you're old false teeth here, and if a different set fits the cost is ten dollars.

Re: valentine message

We do a "Coffeehouse" type outreach at our church and a couple Valentine Days ago we used that in our "Darryl, Darrel, and Daryl" skit. Thems three backwoods kinda guys that don't git out a the swamp much.

Ole' Darryl (that's me) was areadin' that thar po-m ta his loverly wife, Miss Tammy, wif her pony tails and about 3 fron teef. She plum hit em upside da haid with her ole' fryin' pan! It was horrible! Darrel and Daryl wern't much hep, either!

Re: valentine message

Roses are red.
Violets are purple
Sugar is sweet
And so is MAPLE SURPLE

Re: valentine message

This ones for after v-day

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Trash got dumped
And so have YOU !

Re: valentine message

From Ms. Nowak---

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'd drive 900 miles in a diaper

For YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Re: valentine message

lol @ diaper