Tecumsehs 30/30 snowblower engine warranty....

JustJason

Vice Admiral
Joined
Aug 27, 2007
Messages
5,319
Straight from the 1970's owners manual.

This Tecumseh engine is waranteed to run for at least 30 seconds. If it does not kindly return it to your nearest Tecumseh dealer within 30 minutes and the engine will be fully warrantied and returned to you garunteed to run for at least another 30 seconds.

This warranty is void if the following conditions are met;
1. Somebody screws with the idle speed screw
2. Somebody screws with the adjustable high speed jet
3. Somebody screws with the governors adjusting screw or bends the governors link rod more than a pit hair
4. If the ambient temperature rises above 70F
5. If the ambient temperature drops below 55F
6. If the realative humidity is more than 70%
7. If the realative humidity drops below 50%
8. If the on board steel fuel tank starts to rust and pass rust through the non-filtered fuel system.
9. If the fuel octane is not at least 87 RON
10. 86 RON octane is unacceptable, and will void the warranty
11. If the fuel containes MBTE, oxygenaters, or methanol, any kind of alcohol, dry gas, or octane booster
12. If any plug is installed other than the factory Champion spark plug.
13. If the engine is operated by anybody younger than 16, or older than 35
14. If the engine is operated by anybody to young to remember what a carburater is.
15. If the engine is operated by anybody to young to know that a manual 4 position choke is.
16. If you don't know the difference between a rabbit and a turtle.
17. If you don't know that turtles are really fast, especially in the water.
18. If you don't know that rabbits usually die when thrown into deep water.
19. If you don't know that your much more likely to lose a finger from a snapping turtle bite than you are a rabbit bite.
20. If you believe that slow and steady, tortoise and hare crap.
21. If for some reason you can't figure out why you should not disengage the manual hub that locks the wheels together so you get 2 wheel drive instead of 1 wheel drive, in the snow, without chains on the tires.
22. If you add traction chains to the tires.
23. If you over inflate the tubes in the tires "just a bit" to tighten up said chains on tires.
24. If you wonder why you didn't opt for the optional electric start when you realize you can't get it started when it's minus 5F by pulling the rope.
25. If you realize rope starts take effort
26. If you realize you hate rope starters
27. If the rope breaks, and you rewind it with clothes line, and the rope brakes again.
28. Icing on a rope starter.... go figure
29. If the muffler rusts
30. If you break the shear pins because you snewblew through rocks.
31. If you hate Ariens orange.
32. Because no matter what... pushing on the handlebars makes the damm thing squeek.
33. If and when the spark plug becomes fouled, please consult Champion spark plugs for further assistance.
34. If you lose your limbs or life by unclogging the ever clogging chute while the auger is spinning.
35. If you think the snowblower doubles as a good "Baaattsin Gaaadin Tilla"
36. If you feel the name Tecumseh is a sacred indian name.
37. If you feel that the team name the Washington Redskins is politically incorrect because early american settlers killed many indians.
38. If you like to gamble at indian casinos.
39. If your over 150, and you actually scalped an indian.
40. If you live in Florida, and haven't tried to start your snowblower in 39 years, and wonder why it doesn't start.
 

marlboro180

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Jun 23, 2009
Messages
1,164
Re: Tecumsehs 30/30 snowblower engine warranty....

ROTFLMOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hear your pain...
 

windsors03cobra

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
1,191
Re: Tecumsehs 30/30 snowblower engine warranty....

Ah not unlike the "Tail Light Guarantee" or "5 Minutes or 5 Miles Warranty" the local used car dealers offer.

Another dead name. Here in WI they employed 1700 folks 10 years ago, party on. :redface:
 
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