Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

I love my boat. i love anything about my boat, or anything having to do with my boat. My wife on the other hand likes going out sometimes but doesnt want everything to revolve around the boat. like for instance, we are going to nags head in july and have a house on a canal with a dock and slip. my first idea is bring the boat and go fishing. i would love to have it sitting right outside the door and be able to go whenever i choose. well she doesnt want to take it, she says it will just be to much to deal with. I need some ideas to get her more involved and more excited about boating and want to go out more. All we do now is tow to the yacht club, put in, go to the sand bar, hang out all day, then back home, occasionaly ride around for no more than 30min. i am getting alittle bored with it my self, but need to find something else to do. any ideas????

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

This ones easy . . . I'll break it to ya in two words . . . New Wife

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Try and interest her in the boat....

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Mine loves seafood so I got her a crabtrap and we also fish for prawns.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

i'm not getting into this one, but it is one reason i've been single for almost 30 years.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

I'm not sure you can change her interest in fishing. I think you either love it or hate it. I happen to love it but some women just don't. Although if she were to catch a really big fish and haul it in herself I can't for the life of me figure out why she wouldn't be hooked. Try teaching her some fishing techniques that you use and always explain why.

Or, maybe if you teach her to captain the boat. I'm not talking about just letting her drive it, but teach her how to read the GPS, how and why you handle the boat in certain situations, how to dock it, launch it, etc. She has to take ownership of it, and the only way to make it hers is if she knows she can handle it well enough to solo one day.

My husband made sure I knew everything there is to know about our boat and I have 100's of hours logged over the years.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

fishingman220 said:

we are going to nags head in july and have a house on a canal with a dock and slip. my first idea is bring the boat and go fishing. i would love to have it sitting right outside the door and be able to go whenever i choose. well she doesnt want to take it, she says it will just be to much to deal with. any ideas????

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Yup, leave her (the wife, not the boat) at home and take ME! I'll bring the beer.

Seriously, insist on the boat but don't allow the whole trip revolve around it. Do things she wants to do - meet in the middle. Funny, wife and I both fish - me more than her - and when she's done she stretches out and reads a book or does a puzzle or something while I run or fish or whatever. She just loves being out.

More important - FOR ME - I'm wondering where in the heck you got a place in Nags Head with a slip? They are far and few between. Send me a PM with details if ya don't mind.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

I can sympathize. My wife resisted me even owning a boat for a long time. She was never exposed to boats and she only saw the trouble and expense. Now that we've had a summer of fun times going out with the family, she's a lot more on board with it. But she still gets irritated sometimes at the time I spend working on it.

It's all about compromise. She's going to have stuff important to her. If you support her interests and hobbies, she should do the same for you. If she doesn't maybe the boat isn't the real problem.

Yeah, going to Nags Head in July staying at a house with a dock and a slip seems like a no-brainer to take the boat. How far a trip is it? You don't say where you're at. If you do bring the boat, I would be very careful about giving the trailer a good looking over, make sure bearings are good, double-check everything. Any problems or breakdowns along the way will give her ammunition to say "see? i told you so...too much trouble".

And like Ladyfish said, getting her involved so she learns to enjoy it is the key. Let her do only the fun stuff at first-- don't ask her to back up the boat for you, but let her take the wheel. set up her bait for her so she doesn't have to get her hands dirty at first and let her catch a fish. She can set up her own bait and learn to back the boat up later if she gets hooked. She may never learn to enjoy it, but maybe she'll have a better understanding why you enjoy it.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Let her invite her friends onto the boat. Let them hang out on the sand bar with you. She could pack wine and cheese etc.. Bring along a game of washers and or bags. Luckily I get a long with the husband of my wife's cute friend. Not to mention my wife brings Corona and wheat thins....

She likes the slow sunset cruises with the tunes going.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Leave the wife. Get a sexy new girlfriend that understands that the order of importance in your household is: The boat, the dog, and the girlfriend. LOL

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Frank Acampora said:

Leave the wife. Get a sexy new girlfriend that understands that the order of importance in your household is: The boat, the dog, and the girlfriend. LOL

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Where does the grill stand in that sentance?

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Being diplomatic in this is key. Rather than phrasing things as if "fishing" is the be-all-end-all try to make the endeavor more of a hybrid of fishing/picnic shore lunch/nature watching and see if that helps present i it in a more attractive way to her interests(assuming she likes those things).

Many of my friends and my girlfriend would just as soon cruise around on the boat exploring and checking out aquatic species and scenery than fishing as the primary activity.

I agree that bringing the boat is non-negotiable if you have a slip lined up already. Checking the trailer for issues is also a great idea as mentioned since you don't need any more fuel for her anti-boat bonfire.

Good luck...sounds like a great vacation to me

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

I don't know what area you are boating in but I had the same problem in Florida. I was able to persuade my wife to join me in a Power Squadron boating course so our trips would be safer. I also joined a Nautical Club (not a yacht club) that is a social club made up of people that enjoy boating. (I know I going to get blasted but there is more to boating than fishing, diving and partying on a sand bar).

1st we started slow joining the club on short 1 and 2 day cruises to various locations around the state,staying in resorts and BnB's. She is finally getting interested in going on a 3 day cruise to St. Augustine, and is sorry that we will miss the 3 day trip to Naples Fl.

We are also going to be taking our 1st personal cruise, a 2 dayer to Tarpon Springs where we will be staying at a BnB, visit a winery, picnic on an island park where she can use her metal detector to find some "treasure". and get some personal time.

We also fish and dive, but are using our boat as if it were a car, going to places of interest but from a different perspective. (And yes, we do trailer our boat to a launch site as we live inland, and boat anywhere from 25 to 65 miles to our selected locations.)

She is now planning a trip to the Bahamas with other members of the club.

Now this is boating at it's best, with my wife as co-captain.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Congrats Bob- sounds like you've got this whole thing pretty well figured out. Those sound like some fun excursions in some nice places down there.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Had the same situation last year. Rented a place in OC, MD on the bayside with a slip. I saved so much money by staying on the bayside instead of the ocean side that the couple extra $$ for a place with a slip was negligible. I figured if I took the boat, great, and if I didn't no big deal. My wife was pretty strongly opposed to taking the boat. Her prediction was that the boat would break early on in the week and then I'd be pissed off the rest of the week and our vacation would be ruined. She knows me well enough to know that this absolutely would occur. I actually decided to concede and not take the boat. I figured I could check out the docking facilities and bay-access and determine if it was satisfactory then I'd bring the boat next year.

Well the place turned out to have a fantastic dock and great access to the bay so I rented the same place this year and the boat will definitely be going. As a side note, our then 1 year old totally ruined our vacation last year way more than a broken boat would have!!!! He's more mellowed out this year so hopefully we'll have a better time.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Your boat is actually the same style (with cuddy) that I'm in the market for as a 2nd boat. We want to be able to take multi day excursions to different areas and stay overnight on the boat at marinas along the way. Most decent marinas have showers and restaurants close by.

Ladyfish had some of the best advice I've read in this thread. Get her involved. If she drives a car why can't she drive the boat.

Some other posters had great comments one of which comes to mind was the comment that they trailer and use their boat more of a vehicle to reach places that the average person never sees.

That's what we do with ours too. We trailer to different lakes. I always have something different to do. I would go crazy going to the same lake or the same sandbar drinking all day and then just going home.

As an example: This weekend we plan to put in on one side of this large lake and cross it's widest point (10 miles) weather permitting, over to the other side and dock at the town. We walk up the hill and now we are in this eclectic town that has many stores and restaurants. We have lunch at an outdoor cafe and walk around and then take a leisurely cruise around various areas of the lake back.

Sure, we could have driven there or taken the ferry over, but it's a different world on your own boat out there.

So in my opinion, it's not your wife . . . it sounds to me like you are pretty boring and like most guys are happy to do the same things each week, same restaurants etc. Even you yourself said you too are getting bored.

Nags head and pretty much all of North Carolina is smack in the middle of one of the worlds boating capitals. If you can't find things to plan boating around, that's pretty sad.

You are the Captain, but you need to become a little more like a cruise director and use your boat to plan out an itinerary of things to do which include the boat and new things your Wife would enjoy doing.

Sometimes we just pull off in a quiet cove, open up a cooler with pre-made or store bought salads, open a bottle of wine, have lunch and then we play cards or scrabble for awhile. Women seem to love that stuff. I'd rather be fishing. But relationships are give and "take" as long as she knows there is no "taking" the boat out of the relationship.

Get a little more creative, darnit! Because if you are bored now, it's going to be even more boring when you wind up boating ALONE!

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

Come on guys..What do Women WANT???

ROMANCE......Complete movie, Harlequin book, sweep her off her feet romance......The boat gets love, she doesnt...

DO THIS and you'll be OK

Take the boat (it's essential to the romance)

Secretly pack a special dinner/lunch dinner, wine, real wine glasses, those cool fake little LED candles, put them in votive jars (cant believe I even KNOW the word VOTIVE)

Get some ROSES, stash them carefully someplace...
Do you guys have a favorite song? Does SHE have a favorite song for you guys? If you dont know, then find out and have it playing if possible...


If you create a ROMANTIC association/connection/memory of you, her AND the boat..you'll be Golden...

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

I live in Chesterfield VA, just south of richmond. I have been wanting to take an overnight trip down the river, but havent gotten it running right yet. Thank you for all the replies.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

lol, it's a tough road sometimes. My wife and daughters are really hit or miss on going out, it's pretty much become just me and my son. I grew up on the water here, fishing and boating, so for me it's a way of life, she grew up in the mid-west so she really doesn't get it. The upside with my wife is that she doesn't give me any grief about it at all, she justs sees it as a hobby I enjoy and leaves me be.

Re: Any ideas for my wife???need suggestions

i think the biggest thing that gets on my nerves is she works every sat, and then off sunday. and if i want to go out without her and take some friends out fishing or to the sand bar, she gets MAD. so i never do it just to keep the peace, but i dont see what the big deal is.