A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

NelsonQ

Lieutenant
Joined
Aug 5, 2008
Messages
1,413
Well folks, sometimes you need to just express your thoughts to help you deal with the way you feel so I'm taking the opportunity now.

I've been away from the forums for a few weeks. It was hard reading about SBN before I left. He passed away from a battle with cancer at the age of 55.

While reading it, our family was going thru a similar situation as my mother in law lay in hospital, diagnosed with cancer. She passed away in the early hours of Sat, Dec 6th. She too was 55.

It seems sometimes the good ones are called too early.

So, I thought I'd share a story in her memory. I'm 36 years old. Met my wife the first day in university. We were 18. So for half my life, I've known my MIL.

Her name was Lillian, or Lil as everyone knew her. As I learned in the early years, you could call her anything, just not 'Lilly'. It would unleash a wrath like none seen before to call her 'Lilly'. So being the person I am, I called her 'Ma Lilly' as she was my second 'Ma'. It was a term of endearment that only I was afforded.

She treated my like I was her own son. She always offered encouragement and support and was proud of her family of which she always made sure to make me feel part of. Unlike most men who stereotypically don't get along with their MILs, I did. I struggle to think of a time I had something to disagree with her on and always enjoyed her company. I was fortunate to have had her in my life.

In June of this year, I purchased a boat. Being from the East Coast, the ocean and boats seemed to be a big part of everyone's lives. At that time I felt it was a nice gesture for a woman who meant so much to my wife, my daughter and me. Now it'll be another reminder of all the great times and memories of a wonderful woman gone too soon.

Christmas will be a difficult time (Ma Lilly's birthday was Christmas Eve) but we're lucky to have great friends and family to help us through it. My FIL travelled back to our home with us for a few weeks for the holidays so we'll help comfort each other and share in her memory.

MaLilly.jpg
 

Limited-Time

Vice Admiral
Joined
Mar 30, 2005
Messages
5,820
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Losing a loved one is never easy. You are now into the year of first. The first Christmas, birthday, New Years..................Passing without them. It's tough, but with family and friends you will endure. Times passage will ease the feeling of loss you are now experiencing. The pain will be replaced by memories of times passed, enjoying the company of those so special.
 

Bass Man Bruce

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Joined
Jul 9, 2004
Messages
1,378
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Sorry to hear of your loss NelsonQ. Glad you were lucky enough to have her in your life though. I'm sure she would want a Merry Christmas for your family so have as good a time as you can and Merry Christmas.
 

OldePharte

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Aug 17, 2008
Messages
633
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

My condolences as well.

It will get easier, but it will take time. I lost my mother 18 years ago and it still hurts during the holidays. We named our boat the Lucy II. So we we go out, we go out with Lucy.

Now, my wife is battling cancer. We thought she had it fairly well licked until earlier this year, when a nodule returned. Another round of surgery and radiation.

So, I retired and we are trying to sell the "city" house and move to the lake to enjoy whatever time we have left together.
 

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Yeah, Nelson, that is very tough to take. We are watching a very good friend of ours go through his "year of firsts" without his 46 year old wife who also died of cancer. We had Bob over for our Christmas party on Saturday and of course this was the first one without Stacy, he also had a very rough Thanksgiving.

I am sure your wife and her family need comforting too, and I am guessing it is hard to offer condolences while also needing to mourn. Hang in there man, sounds like you all have lost a special lady.
 

Gary H NC

Fleet Admiral
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
8,972
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Sorry to hear that Nelson.Prayers for you and the family during this tough time.
Getting through the next couple of months will be the hardest.

Every time you board The Ma Lilly think of her and the good times of the past.You know she will be smiling down at you...;)
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

I'm finding out that the older you get, the more friends and relatives you tend to lose.

Sorry to hear of your loss but seems as if your doing well to honor of your MIL.

Several years ago, I lost a fishing buddy to a group of kids that broke into his house and murdered him. I kept his fishing pole in its rack for the following 3 years. Two years ago, his son stopped by the dock to visit. He saw his dads pole in the rack and asked if he could have it.....Of course I couldn't refuse his request. About 2 weeks later, his son came back and gave me his dads Cleveland Browns bandanna to put inside the cabin. He thought I should have something in return.
 

aspeck

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
18,588
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Nelson, all that I can say is that I understand, feel your pain, offer my sympathies to you and your family, and will be praying for God's peace and comfort to envelop you this Christmas Season and you share both joy and sorrow together.
 

bassman284

Commander
Joined
Jun 24, 2006
Messages
2,839
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Thoughts and prayers, Nelson. Especially thoughts, I guess.

Got me thinking about my Mothers in law. Plural because I've had two. Neither marriage worked out in the end, but the MIL's both treated me like a prince. Great ladies and I miss them.
 

eaglejim

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Feb 2, 2008
Messages
1,006
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Doing the same thing here lost my MIL on Oct 29,now have to keep tabs on FIL they were married 50 years so he has good days and days that are not as good,wife and I going to get Krispy kream (hot fresh) on Christmas Eve
 

Bob_VT

Moderator & Unofficial iBoats Historian
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May 19, 2001
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26,019
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

It's never easy. You and your family are in my prayers.
 

jay_merrill

Vice Admiral
Joined
Dec 5, 2007
Messages
5,653
Re: A sad holidays, but time heals all wounds

Sorry to hear of your loss. Even though it is sure to result in a tear or two, sometimes its nice on a special day, not long after the loss of someone loved, to tell stories of their lives. Each person can talk about what the person lost meant to them and, in that, can feel like he or she is still present in their lives.

Here's to you, Ma Lilly!
 
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