If you grew up in the midwest

Caveman Charlie

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
545
If you grew up in the Midwest....




You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.

You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.

You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping
between the reception and wedding dance.

You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm machinery, and
would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!

You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.

You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.

You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't break into
uncontrollable laughter.

You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at the county fair.

You know that "combine" is a noun.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel
post in the middle of winter.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions..

You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".

Football schedules, hunting season, and harvest, are all taken into
consideration before wedding dates are set.

A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend
shining for deer.

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.

There was at least one, if not several, in your class who had to help
milk cows in the morning.

You have driven your car on the lake.

Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the
chicken dance.

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

The local gas station sells live bait.

At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat
processing plant.

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
You actually understand these jokes and will forward them to all your
Midwestern friends!!!!!
 

Mike722

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Nov 7, 2005
Messages
370
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

You forgot that since Deer season is a National Holiday the schools are closed opening day.
 

eeboater

Commander
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
2,644
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

Yup yup... 'cept its called Farm and Fleet down here in SE Wisc....
 

newbie4life

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 19, 2007
Messages
410
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

Yup yup... 'cept its called Farm and Fleet down here in SE Wisc....

Yepper -- In Chippewa Falls, it's Farma and Fleet, but 20 miles away in Menomonie, it's Fleet Farm.

Mike722: "You forgot that since Deer season is a National Holiday the schools are closed opening day. "

Opening day here is on Saturday... What is it in IL?
 

j442w30

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jan 9, 2007
Messages
264
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

Yup yup... 'cept its called Farm and Fleet down here in SE Wisc....

And it's Fleet and Farm up here in the north. Thats one of my favorite stores.
 

Mike722

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Nov 7, 2005
Messages
370
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

Newbie4life

Shotgun season is always the weekend before Thanksgiving and the weekend after Thanksgiving. Second season adds Thursday. Bow season starts soon. Black powder is in there somewhere.
 

aspeck

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
18,588
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

You forgot that since Deer season is a National Holiday the schools are closed opening day.

Shucks, around here schools are closed the first 2 days of deer season! And we are in the the mid-east.
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

And don't make fun of the way we say push, wash, and bush. We all know its poosh, warsh, n boosh :D
 

tashasdaddy

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
51,019
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

SS MAYFLOAT, what did you say?
 

Caveman Charlie

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Oct 31, 2007
Messages
545
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

He said that he tried to poosh his car to the car warsh but, it got away from him and rolled into a boosh.
 

thurps

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jan 14, 2007
Messages
538
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

Light tires on fire around the farm pond for night time ice skating. Turn an old car hood upside down, weld a car seat to it and drag it over snow covered county roads behind a pickup. Everyone had M80's or cherry bombs on the Fourth.
 

thurps

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jan 14, 2007
Messages
538
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

Almost forgot buying beer out of the back door of the local market on Sundays.
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

He said that he tried to poosh his car to the car warsh but, it got away from him and rolled into a boosh.

Dats ah Ferd fer ya!

My sister was a virgin til my older brudder was able to outrun her.Oooops, sorry thats getting to hillbillyish :D
 

jinx

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Sep 25, 2003
Messages
739
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

It always cracks me up when a tiny purchase like a spool of thread gets put into a "sack".

I take it you guys don't use the terms "reckon" and "yonder" very much.

Jinx
 

mudmagnet63

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
231
Re: If you grew up in the midwest

Well I "reckon" if you go down "yonder" bout 1/2 a mile ther's a "warsh" now if you follow that "warsh" to the end there outta be a "boosh" If you "poosh" that "boosh" outa the way youns L see the fishin hole mindya :cool:
 
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