Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

Expidia

Commander
Joined
Aug 26, 2006
Messages
2,328
I like the one: your boat has not left the driveway for 15 years . . . hahahaha

Brand new edition of...
'You know you're a redneck when......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it..

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20.. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

24.. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
 

df909

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Nov 28, 2009
Messages
333
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

Hmmm...that toilet bowl brush idea would work great. I'll have to get me a new one next time we go out.
 

Bart Sr.

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jul 26, 2002
Messages
1,603
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

....You go out in the boat with your wife,your sister and your cousin.....

and its just the two of you.
 

Tyme2fish

Commander
Joined
Feb 19, 2002
Messages
2,481
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

My wife just bought a new toilet brush last week. I told her it was a little rough and I'd prefer to go back to toilet paper.:eek: ;)
 

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

. . . when you watch your boat pass you on the right and it ends up in a cow pasture :eek:
 

marlboro180

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Jun 23, 2009
Messages
1,164
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

. . . when you watch your boat pass you on the right and it ends up in a cow pasture :eek:
OHH QC, you did not! Heheheheheheh
 

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

I'm afraid I did . . . :redface: :p :D
 

mphy98

Lieutenant
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
1,422
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

.... your bra is an important accessory of your wedding dress. :D
 

a70eliminator

Captain
Joined
Sep 9, 2007
Messages
3,698
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

If your front porch collapses and kills 3 or more dogs you just mignt be a redneck.
 

dave11

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
1,195
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

I like the definition of a personalized license plate.
 

rainman99

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
207
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

Now thats funny. :D
 

mphy98

Lieutenant
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
1,422
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

.... you go to the mall for airconditioning :D
 

mphy98

Lieutenant
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
1,422
Re: Updated "you know you're a Redneck" . . . . .

Your cable TV provider is your next door neighbor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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