Help solve this money dispute

ondarvr

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Apr 6, 2005
Messages
11,527
This morning I was doing some yard work (3 acres lots of fruit and other trees) and recruited my wife to help me stack all the brush for burning. She had been out trimming her trees and left the branches on the ground, so I figured she could help clean up the mess.

I was having a little trouble keeping the fire going so I went over to the recycle bin to get some paper. I grabbed a stack of newspaper with some other stuff mixed in and just as I lifted them out of the bin some papers fell on the ground, my hands were full so didn't stop to pick them up right then. About 15 minutes later I went back to pick up the stuff on the ground and found an unopened envelope with a check in it from the state.

About tens years ago someone broke into my shop and made off with about $10,000 worth of tools, boat motor, fishing gear, 2 motor cycles, sails to a small boat? (not sure what they thought these were), etc. They busted the guy and I got the 2 bikes back, but they were painted entirely black and beat to death. Since that time we've been receiving a check almost every month for about $49.00 as restitution. My wife has always deposited these checks in her account.

This check was in the same envelope so I thought it was another $49.00, It was actually for $917.00 and was for the same restitution. My wife had thrown it out with the junk mail.

I called my wife over and she quickly snatched the check from my fingers and stashed it in the house with a big grin on her face. When I said I should get some of it, she just laughed and said no chance.

She thinks this is a stupid website and says she can't imagine what low life?s everyone here must be to just talk boats. Did I say she doesn't ever go out on boats either (Please don't let this influence your opinion on who should get the money though).

How do you think this money should be split?

Thanks
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Mar 25, 2001
Messages
45,907
Re: Help solve this money dispute

Who owned the stuff that got stolen? That is who should get the bux.

Of course, I always considered stuff as family owned when I was married, so if that happened to me I would use it ALL for family benefit.
 

Bamby

Seaman
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
57
Re: Help solve this money dispute

I don't like butting into domestic disputes, and fail to actually see where it really has anything to do with trees. :) But it doesn't sound as if any of her things were stolen were they? And the items were man cave things that that any testosterone driven man would just haft to replace. I think you should actually see the most of it. ;) Do you want to share? :D
 

rainman99

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
207
Re: Help solve this money dispute

I agree with JB.
His and her money for a married couple. Good luck with that. All our money goes into joint accounts. After 10 years of marriage have only had a couple disagreements over money. We both get the things we want without
occurring dept.
 

tashasdaddy

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
51,019
Re: Help solve this money dispute

that was found money she threw out. you found it, it is yours, she did not want it. NOW CONVINCE HER OF THAT!!!!
 

HopeSheFloats

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jun 12, 2009
Messages
1,674
Re: Help solve this money dispute

from this guy's perspective...it get's awfully cold sleeping alone ;)
Next side job or two... she never hears about...easy peasy:D
 

Brent S

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Messages
181
Re: Help solve this money dispute

I think it's too late now.

Let's try some monday morning quarterbacking though, all in fun.

You should have had this discussion when you/she recieved the first check. She has successfully set a precedent. The money from that incident goes in HER account, that's the way it has allways been and that's the way it will be. Fair doesn't enter into it.

Your best shot would be to suggest the purchase of something you want that you may convince her that she wants too. Maybe a new TV. (probably not enough) or a weekend away together. Something like that.

good luck,
 

HANGEYE

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
133
Re: Help solve this money dispute

If anyone thinks for one minute that I would just let it go.....well....I would not. I would march right into the house and demand that she do whatever she likes with money and then ask very nicely if I could have a cookie. It's still cold here and I like to cuddle even after 27 years. ( I think it's 27? I really don't remember.)
 

Brent S

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Messages
181
Re: Help solve this money dispute

Good one, hangeye

I tell people, quite truthfully, I am not in charge of my life, sometimes I'm not even third. (behind my boss and my wonderful wife) not in that order:D
 

kenmyfam

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Aug 10, 2006
Messages
14,385
Re: Help solve this money dispute

50% each.
You are a partnership are you not ??:)
 
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
1,790
Re: Help solve this money dispute

Just hope the check is still good. You ant gettin it back my man. You let her snatch it out of your hand. Best thing is to say in a real nice way "honey you deseve it and HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY PRESENT IN ADVANCE"
 

HVAC Cruiser

Lieutenant
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
1,254
Re: Help solve this money dispute

It depends on how you handled it to begin with, you said she always put the money into her account, which means your up a creek. When you started to get restitution it should have gone to replace or put back into the kiddie the money that replaced the stolen items.

Not knowing how you guys handle your finances, your best bet, try to convince her that you guys should spend it together , consider it found money. Go away for a weekend, buy that TV etc...
 

tallcanadian

Captain
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
3,245
Re: Help solve this money dispute

Sounds like you have more issues than just this money. But no, it's not just her money. That should go to the family. That wasn't very nice of her to just grab it like that. I actually feel bad for you. You must be a very patient person. As far as her not liking this site, well frankly, who cares. If you can't enjoy some money, then you got to have some kind of getaway. I'm in your corner for sure. Good Luck.
 

j_martin

Admiral
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
7,474
Re: Help solve this money dispute

I can see it now...........

You march right in and say "I wear the pants in this house."

She'll throw you a pair of her panties and say "here, put these on."

You'll say, "I can't get into those."

She'll reply, "That's right, and you never will unless you change your attitude."


Solution? What solution?
 

Bob in Calif.

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Nov 4, 2002
Messages
653
Re: Help solve this money dispute

ondarvr: I understand what you are going thru with the doubt of the rightful owner of the money, regarding you and your wife. Fortunately for you and your wife I am a charter member of "The Hire Witness Program", which I can operate in all 50 states including most countries that have at least one english speaking judge.

So ondarvr please contact me if my services would be required for your situation. (Fees
are negotiable), so until I hear from you, I reccomend you keep this e-mail out of view by your wife, unless her fee offeer is higher than your's, then you are on your own.

Re$pectively $ubmitted, Bob in $unny Calif.
 

Bondo

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 17, 2002
Messages
70,527
Re: Help solve this money dispute

I called my wife over and

Ayuh,... That Right there is where ya Sunk yer Ship....:rolleyes:

You shoulda pocketed it,+ gone out, 'n bought a Replacement Toy(what the moeny is actually about)....
When your Love asked where you came into the funds for the new Toy,...
You could have explained to her Then, that she threw it in the Trash...
 

ondarvr

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Apr 6, 2005
Messages
11,527
Re: Help solve this money dispute

My daughter came over and agreed with me, well, that is if I split my potential share with her she would.

Then they decided to go shopping.

I did guilt her into possibly giving me a third of it though.

Then she reminded me that I had broken a window and the deductable was $1,000.00 to get it fixed. Lawn mower and a rock, you know the story.

This is a very big window and some of the estimates were as high as $3,200.00 to fix it.

Now she says that's where the money will go.
 

ondarvr

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Apr 6, 2005
Messages
11,527
Re: Help solve this money dispute

My wife did like some of the posts and I did get a cookie, so I guess it was a good day.
 
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