"If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

lowkee

Lieutenant Commander
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Dec 13, 2008
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In driving around for some home supplies this evening, I ran into a situation I have found myself a recipient of quite a bit in the last decade (or two?)...

The scenario:

I am driving along on a four lane street (two lanes each direction) when I begin to approach a driver who is traveling under the speed limit and, as it happens, slower than I am. He is in the slow lane, which is a nice change of pace, and is just barely going slower than I am, but slow enough for me to switch lanes to begin a pass.

Well before I overtake this driver (I switched lanes a good 300-400 feet behind his car), a truck pulls out of a road and stomps on the gas, switching lanes to the fast lane in order to not force the slower driver, who is ahead of me still, to slow down. This move I consider a considerate move, since even though I am drivign faster, in the fast lane, the slower car is closer and would have been more affected by the truck pulling out. This, of course, means I will soon be slowed down while the truck gets up to speed. Noticing the slower car is going faster than the still accelerating truck, I switch lanes back into the car's lane. At which time, the car immediately slows down to prevent me from passing the truck. As luck would have it, the truck pulls into a left turn lane and I am able to again resume my pass of the, now much slower than before, car. As I pass, the car stomps on the gas as I pull up beside him.

Now for my question.

What thought process enters someone's mind which compels them to prevent a person from passing someone else by going slower and trapping them, then when the coast is clear, prevent that same person from passing them by speeding up, even though both lanes are now empty?

Is there some sort of victory involved?
Did I someone kick in some jailhouse machismo challenge by going the speed limit?

Now, you may be tempted to balk and say I'm reading too much into this situation, but I will say I've come across this exact scenario many, many times over the years, some less aggressive, others downright hostile in preventing a pass. There is no mistake in the intentions of the hostile person.

So, what makes someone do this?
What is gained in the eyes of the aggressive driver?

Now, there are some more obvious examples, as to foreclosed homes and property damage. I can see how messed up people can blame the bank for foreclosing, even though they did not pay their bills. But a passing situation? If you are one of these people who prevent passes.. please share your thoughts, as I'd love to know why.

The big question I have is.. What causes this mentality to happen in the first place?
 

kenmyfam

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

Road rage is a horrible thing. Some folk just have to be "one up" on whoever is around them. My main aim is to get where I am going safely even if it takes a little longer.
On my recent trip for work to Alabama (Jan 4th) I was tailgated by a vehicle on I-75 south in freezing rain and treacherous conditions. I as usual doubled my safety distance between me and the vehicle in front of me to allow for the "idiot" behind me. He ended up passing me while giving me the finger after about 5 minutes. 15 minutes later I passed him with his vehicle on it's side in the ditch.
It will catch up with them in the end. Don't let it get to you.
 

tx1961whaler

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May 31, 2008
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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

Welcome to the US!
We are, on one hand, some of the most self-entitled, self-important, individualistic and sociopathic people on the face of the earth. On the other hand, we are also normally very friendly, helpful, generous, and charitable beyond belief.
Kind of strange and contradictory, isn't it?
 
Joined
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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

I have been know to speed up so the guy whos passing me going to fast will run out of road before he trys to cut me off. You can often tell when some moron is going to cut you off,,,,and if he or she is on the phone and I see it I for sure do every thing I can NOT to be curtious.. they dont rate it I dont like being cut off
 

Tim Frank

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

Lowkee...was the driver wearing a Mexican-looking hat with "El Primo" inscribed on the brim?...;):D
 

JRJ

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

I haven't really noticed that happening, but maybe I haven't passed thefairlaneman :D
 

Vlad D Impeller

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

Welcome to the US!
We are, on one hand, some of the most self-entitled, self-important, individualistic and sociopathic people on the face of the earth. On the other hand, we are also normally very friendly, helpful, generous, and charitable beyond belief.
Kind of strange and contradictory, isn't it?

I find it to be one of the ironies in human nature, since this sort of behaviour is also quite common in many other countries.
 

j_martin

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Sep 22, 2006
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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

If I am on a 2 lane road, and a truck wants to pass me, as he pulls into the left lane I'll touch the brakes, flashing brake lights to him, and dropping it out of cruise control to make it easier for him to pass. Most greatly appreciate it. Every once in awhile one will panic and hit his brakes and get back in behind me.

As for the road blocker. Unless I have superior power I just find a reason to stop somewhere, or just slow down and let them drive off.

I think there is some sort of a competitive drive, or maybe just a schooling instinct that makes one tend to go the same speed as the car along side. I work hard to train that out of my family as it is a dangerous practice, both for ticking people off, and also getting into a trucker's blind spot and staying there. The rule is, if you're going the same speed, use the same lane. If you're going to pass, pass briskly and don't block the lane for miles.

my 02
John
 

ezmobee

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Mar 26, 2007
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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

In the situation lowkee presented it was definitely odd for the other driver to have behaved that way because in no way were lowkee's actions going to affect him at all.

If someone wants to go faster than me I generally prefer to get out of their way and let them. However, if traffic is heavy, and someone tries to get ahead of just me and really isn't going to accomplish anything by doing that.....I tend to try to make this difficult for them :p (this assumes I'm in the passing lane. If I'm in the slow lane I certainly don't care what anyone in the fast lane does)
 

joed

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

If someone honks their horn at me because they think I am taking too long to make a turn I will deliberately take even longer and go slow after making the turn.
 

avenger79

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

i have encountered that situation many many times here. one time it was a cop in an unmarked. apparently trolling for road rage. he pulled me over after i passed him by gunning it off a stop sign. after he was done screaming in my window like a 3 yr old asking why i did that. i told him i was trying to change lanes to make an upcoming turn (yes it was true) and he was deliberately blocking me from doing so. he let me go.

before it starts i would have loved to have gone slow off the stop and fall in behind him but he would not pull ahead of me. i had tried that maneuver already.
 

nlain

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Nov 17, 2005
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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

I don't like the people that do the speed up slow down thing, have no clue why they even want to do it, also don't like the ones in the hammer lane that will not move over when they can, all of the above is common here. The speed up thing happened to me 3 times this AM coming to work on the interstate, and yes I got side of them and made sure they were pinned in place until I passed the one ahead of them, guess what, after I passed they all slowed down and I left them, don't make sense. If I am in the hammer lane and someone is coming up behind me and I can get over I do so and let them go, I don't pull out in front of someone that is over taking me if unless I feel I have room to pass before they get too me, then I may speed up to get out of they way. I usually run with the flow of traffic on normal driving, that means on I-95 we are all running about 80, not gonna run faster, that means a ticket if John Law is out.
 

HappierWet

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

I am usually driving faster than most people around me ( heavy foot ), but if someone wants to pass me I'll let them as long as there is open road in front of me. If I'm running in traffic and the driver behind me would only be stopped by the vehicle in front of me....so sad, too bad. I try to be as courteous as the situation will allow without losing my momenteum.
That said, the drivers who weave through traffic only to slam on their brakes torque me off especially when I am towing.
My opinion in making time is NOT the ultimate top speed, rather maintaining a consistent speed.....in my case as fast as conditions allow.

Your results may vary:cool:
 

ezmobee

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

I am usually driving faster than most people around me ( heavy foot ), but if someone wants to pass me I'll let them as long as there is open road in front of me. If I'm running in traffic and the driver behind me would only be stopped by the vehicle in front of me....so sad, too bad. I try to be as courteous as the situation will allow without losing my momenteum.
That said, the drivers who weave through traffic only to slam on their brakes torque me off especially when I am towing.
My opinion in making time is NOT the ultimate top speed, rather maintaining a consistent speed.....in my case as fast as conditions allow.

Your results may vary:cool:

Pretty much my style exactly.
 

rbh

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

How about people that due 5 mph below the speed limit on the flats, then punch it on the hills. :rolleyes:
 

ezmobee

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

How about people that due 5 mph below the speed limit on the flats, then punch it on the hills. :rolleyes:

I don't get the ones going 75 on the flat and then 55 on the hill. Is pressing the gas pedal a smidge more really that hard?
 

Tacklewasher

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

How about people that due 5 mph below the speed limit on the flats, then punch it on the hills. :rolleyes:

This needs to be described in more detail. RBH and I live in the interior of BC. We have a lot of single lane highways. Every so often you get a passing lane, about 2 km long. They usually are heading uphill. The logic to doing this is so the logging trucks and other heavy loads pull to the right lane as they can't do the hills at speed.

Okay so far.

So you are traveling along in a 90kmh section. Normally I'm around 100 (yeah, I'm a rebel). Pull up behind someone doing 80 khm. (And RBH, it is ALWAYS 10K under the limit, not 5). Fine. I doddle along at 80 until I come to a passing lane (heading uphill). Pull to the left to pass only to have the guy previously doing 80 decide he needs to do 120 up the hill.

They get the horn, the finger and they get passed (my Duramax can pull away pretty quick). Then I'm back down to 100 and the guy is back down to 80.

There is no reason for it other than shear f'ing ego and stupidity.

Worst for me was the steepest hill in the Kootneys with trailer in tow. Trailer will do 140. Truck would do more but that's what I needed to get by.

Nothing. And I mean NOTHING ticks me off more when driving.




So, it is not just an American attitude. We have the same issues up here.
 

Mark_VTfisherman

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Nov 29, 2008
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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

...I think there is some sort of a competitive drive...

I have that competitive drive. A competitive driver won't get in your way or on your nerves. Chances are he will always be well in front of you.

A guy that gets on my nerves always winds up behind me:D
 

HVAC Cruiser

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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

Here in New York the ME 1st attitude is prevalent, not only when trying to pass someone doing 45 in a 55 zone so they speed up to 75 in an attempt to prevent you but also when getting on a roadway. There is a traffic light 1 block from a corner were I live. Constantly I will come up to the corner with the light red and the driver coming up to the stopped traffic will purposely 1 block the intersection and 2 get right up on the bumper in front of them so you can't make the right Grrrrrr. makes you want to use your plow for more than just snow :eek: :D
You gotta love them 4 wheelers
 

JustJason

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Aug 27, 2007
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Re: "If I can't have it, nobody can" mentality.. societal causes?

pffft... You guys gotta come drive in Massachusettes :)
 
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