MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

[Limited-Time]

Major problem arose this after noon, I need the best minds available working on this ASAP. I must have a resolution before the next incident. Here's a synopsis of the event. I'm getting ready to cut the grass, after fueling the tractor checking the fluid levels and making sure she runs, I grab a brew. I then begin cutting the grass with brew in hand, after a couple of passes I partake of my ice cold beverage............and to my horror :%:% discover the top of the can (and possibly it's contains) have been inundated with fine grass clippings, dirt, pollen and other debris. I did not panic.8) I continued my work while consuming my now tainted refreshment. It's a two beer yard so I had endure consuming BOTH tainted cans. Surely there's a way to avoid consuming contaminated refreshments while completing my weekly yard work. What do ya think?? There HAS to be a resolution to my quandary...........help me ............please!

 

[bjcsc]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

Hopefully by tractor you mean lawn tractor.

My advice would be to drink at times other than those involving machinery (seriously)...

 

[davemaxi1970]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

How about one of those baseball caps with the can holders and straws?
Or cut your grass daily and this will lead to a less tainted beverage and more beer oppertunities!

 

[QC]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

dave has the answer I was thinking of. bjsc's is way too practical.

A shunt for direct drainage into your stomach might work.

Since you asked for critical thinking . . . How about you re-mount the engine in your tractor off center? Engine torque would result in your tractor listing slightly and that might send the clippings ejecting in a more directional manner potentially lessening the qty. of rogue clippings making it to your beverage container . . .

 

[xtraham]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

shoot,
thats easy, drink'em all before ya start............

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

OK now we're gitt'n some where........

 

[i386]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

You guys fail to see the obvious flaw. The guy is drinking canned beer. I don't seem to have that problem with bottled beer though it may be just because I don't see it. Often, instead of beer, I have a glass of sweet tea. The best kind is the one she brings to me. I just take an occasion slurp followed by a spit like a boxer would do. Then I can take a normal drink. I would never condone such practices with beer though. If it ever became a problem I would make up some corks on a string and tie them to the neck of my bottles.

 

[Plainsman]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

Aw come on be a man! Your just getting some of your daily requirement of fiber and minerals 8).

Or you could "shoot' the beer and drink it in one sip :=

Just don't ever let your beer get flat, cause ya know, you have to drink in anyway!

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

I was think'n just maybe a gravity inverter...........that would allow the cans to be turned over without spilling the contents, at the same time minimizing the exposure to the settling contaminants.

 

[xtraham]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

 

[Plainsman]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

^^That's what I'm talkin about!^^

 

[Bart Sr.]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

There used to be plastic can covers so you could put them back in the fridge and not go flat(pop/soda or beer).

OR---The next time you go to McD's or Booger King or whatnot check the cup covers and take a handfull of what fits.

 

[Dunaruna]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

[colour=blue]You guys are all overthinking this problem. The answer is glaringly simple...........................



Don't cut the grass.

 

[OldMercsRule]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

[colour=blue]You guys are all overthinking this problem. The answer is glaringly simple...........................



Don't cut the grass.

[colour=blue]Now there's the solution I prefer. No problem with operating with a buzz. JR[/colour]

 

[JB]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

Put a nipple on a longneck bottle.

 

[treedancer]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

The wife uses the riding mower so that leaves me with the job of trimming with the push mower,so if i,m going to get the grunge work i have her put a cold brew on every fence post at the end of the trimming.8)

 

[rolmops]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

These are all but partial solutions.
The real solution is Grolsch beer, a beautiful strong Dutch brew which comes in a dark brown or green bottle with a ...porcelain flip top, that completely covers the top of the bottle.Not only will this keep the clippings away from our sorely needed energy source,it also prevents the beer from going flat. And best,the fliptop bottle holds a pint and not some measly 12 ounces!!

 

[JB]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

Yes. Grolsch would be a good solution, and it is a superior beer.

The sealing bottles are great for home brew and other homemade goodies, too.

 

[QC]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

nipple

I just love that word . . .

 

[ZmOz]

Re: MAJOR issue....critical thinkers needed......

Beer enemas seem to be the rage in frat houses these days....8)





:^ :^