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Today..... Was a Hard Day.

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  • Today..... Was a Hard Day.

    Today was a hard day.

    Tuesday the19th of September Anthony Douglas Yates passed away unexpectedly. He was 48 years old, an Air Force Veteran, a loving son and father, my stepson's father my wife's ex husband. He had struggled for years with addiction and had finally come to terms with it and was working hard to become sober. Unfortunately he reached a point in life that also became more than he could take. Today we layed him to rest.

    I met Anthony 9 years ago after he and my wife were divorced and she and I started dating. He was always nice to me and we had no ill feelings between us. I always felt raising his son Mason ( my stepson ) up to be a good young man was our common ground, and in that we became as close to friends as we could.

    Mason is 18 ( 19 in November ) and a freshman in College. He still has his mother and I as well as grandparents and aunts and uncles from 3 families ( I'm counting mine here because they love him too ) that will be there to help him as he continues on his journey through adulthood.

    I hope I can help Mason and Becky ( my wife ) through the next few days, weeks and years.

    Prayers for the family and friends are appreciated.

    Today was a hard day!

    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
    Starcraft Transom Repair http://forums.iboats.com/boat-restor...om-640860.html
    Stratos Restore Thread http://forums.iboats.com/boat-restor...ep-630863.html
    Dave
    Elizabethton Tennessee

  • #2
    It is a hard day. You and yours have our thoughts.
    BOAT SPECS FORUM HELP STARCRAFT FORUM SHOP iboats
    Please, no PM's (Private Messages) regarding boat/engine problems.
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    • #3
      Thoughts with you and your family

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      • #4
        Thoughts and prayers for your family

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        • #5
          tnstratofam
          , I can relate. We lost our son-in-law 11 years ago to opiodes. Our daughter hasn't been too stable since & our oldest grandson has lived with us for 3 years. He's now a Jr in high school and excelling.

          I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm not sure what words that I could use to ease your pain. Please keep your and your family's spirit up albeit difficult.
          .

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          • #6
            Dave, I'm so very sorry to hear of his passing. Not only for the loss that your family suffers, but for the despair he must have suffered. I know several people who have the same types of trouble, and two have attempted suicide. It's very hard to process.

            Condolences and prayers for your family.
            [ATTACH=CONFIG]temp_270443_1499813187632_202[/ATTACH]

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            • #7
              Dave, sorry for your family's loss.

              Got your PM, no worries, I didnt make it either.....
              Money spent @ Boat Restoration should be measured in Smiles & Pride SHOP IBOATS-BOAT SPECS-FORUM HELP-REPAIR/RESTO

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              • #8
                It is a struggle
                1979 Carver Montego 2357 | 260 Mercruiser upgraded to Alpha | 2006 Nissan 15hp kicker

                Girls cry and boys fart in front of friends, but girls fart and boys cry in front of true friends.

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                • #9
                  We appreciate the thoughts and prayers. My wife and I as well as his family are all wondering what we could have done to help him more. He had a support group through the VA as well as friends and family. There were more people working to help him behind the scenes as well. None of us realized he was in such a dark place, and he didn't reach out to anyone about his thoughts. It's just so hard to understand.

                  We are encouraging Mason to come with us to counseling and hopefully work through the anger and sadness he is experiencing.

                  Learn to spot the signs of depression. If you have a friend or loved one who you feel may be having suicidal thoughts the link in the opening post is a good resource for help.

                  Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

                  Dave
                  Becky
                  And Mason.
                  Starcraft Transom Repair http://forums.iboats.com/boat-restor...om-640860.html
                  Stratos Restore Thread http://forums.iboats.com/boat-restor...ep-630863.html
                  Dave
                  Elizabethton Tennessee

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                  • #10
                    Dave,

                    It is indeed very difficult, unfortunate, I have been through this in the past few years as well. Sometime back, my brother in law made the choice to take my sister and then himself creating a lot of heartache and sorrow in our family. We to this day, still wonder if there was anything any of us could have done and I will wonder until the day I leave this planet.

                    I hope Mason will attend some counseling, it will do him good, it won't explain why, but it will help him with the anger and such that happens with events of this nature, it is difficult to get through, my sister left two teenage boys, one has done pretty good, unfortunately the other, not so well. The one that accepted help is doing good, the one who didn't is the one who is not doing so well, he is still angry with everything. Sorrow and anger are tough ones to get through.

                    Good luck, you have my wife and my deepest condolences and will say a prayer for you guys. I would not wish this upon my worst enemy. I am sorry to see a online friend have to experience it.

                    Dave
                    Deb

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                    • #11
                      very sorry for your loss. it is a very tough time to go through. the questions never really go away.
                      I do hope you are able to convince Mason to join you in the counseling.

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                      • #12
                        I have a friend I met thru the hull truth years ago and now on my forum. We've had some very deep personal talks over the years, in person as we truly have become friends.

                        We have a standing agreement that if either one of us sounds like we are headed to that dark place that we get in the truck and go. It's 11 hours for us. I did it this spring. I've very fortunate to be able to to do that kind of thing with my job structure. Some man time, boat time (and a few fish from Tampa Bay) and family time helped him immensely. Alexei loves her some uncle joe and I cook so DC could take a break although she doesn't agree with my cast iron skillet cleaning approach... Interestingly he works for a large church and you would think there is no way anything could happen like that with all the love around.

                        I haven't been in that place in many years now (thankfully she's an ex wife now) but I've been very, very close - gun in hand and in mouth close. Unless you've been there you cannot explain it and even then it just doesn't lend itself to words. You literally feel the darkness and it overwhelms you.



                        Peace to you and the family sir.


                        1979 Carver Montego 2357 | 260 Mercruiser upgraded to Alpha | 2006 Nissan 15hp kicker

                        Girls cry and boys fart in front of friends, but girls fart and boys cry in front of true friends.

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                        • #13
                          So sorry for your loss .. It is good that you got along with him so well . Makes it much harder to deal with though . My wife's brother also chose this path ,, She still struggles with it at times ... Thoughts and prayers to your family ...
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                          • #14
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                            So sorry for your loss. You have our prayers

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