Dealing with ptsd

[littlerayray]

Here's the deal saturday july 18 a day I will never forget I was out on the boat with my family get back to the ramp to pull out a guy runs up to me and says a diver is in distress I don't hesitate for a second and head out to help him long story short I put my life jacket on to help him and he passed away in my arms his wife swam out since we were only 200 feet from shore and had to deal with her panic as well my question is how have you guys who have experienced ptsd deal or dealt with it I've taken comfort in knowing that I did everything perfectly and there is nothing more I could have done since he passed away due to a massive heart attack talking about it has helped a lot and the widow is very grateful for all I've done I just find it hard to look at my boat at the moment and want to get back to boating I went and had my daughter hide my wetsuit and all my dive gear cuz I feel nauseous just looking at it

 

[alldodge]

Not personally dealing with ptsd, but know some which have and others which still do. You did everything right but it was his time. We all get called home and no matter what we do, when its time, its time. It could have been much worst for his wife if this happened and no one was there to help, or worst still if all there were was folks saying can anyone help. You were there for a reason and it was for her this time. Take the time you need, then get back out there. I hope your not needed again in this manner, buy if you are, we can all be thankful that someone like yourself is close by.

 

[littlerayray]

I know it was for a reason that all the events from the day were for a reason be it god or whatever higher being you believe in my original plan for the day was for me to be out on the water around 1 and back by 5 but all the circumstances slowed me down and I didn't get out till after 4 and so it is no coincidence also the diver was originally planing to go diving an hr away but forgot his wetsuit and decided to dive close to home since he had to go back for his wetsuit I honestly feel that if it weren't me in the water that day there would have been 3 victims instead of 1

 

[gonfishn]

There are many different forms of ptsd . How you deal with it depends on you. As with combat it never really goes away. As for me i put in the hands of the one above and he makes it better. Get back on that horse and and ride it through

 

[littlerayray]

I'm dealing with it allright I guess I don't get woken up by the event but I can still hear the widow screaming and picture his face I'm planning on sitting in the boat today and see if there are major triggers

 

[alldodge]

Lost 1 and saved 2, not what none of us wanted as a final outcome, but you did save 2

 

[littlerayray]

Sorry you misunderstood me when I said if it weren't for me there would have been 3 victims


I meant to say if someone other then myself were in my place there would have been a greater chance that the rescuer and the widow could have drowned as well I called for help as I was supporting the victims head and the widow swam out another boat came to help and I told them to throw her a life jacket so she wouldn't drown or take me down as well I could tell she was getting tired and struggling I had full control of the situation and ordered her to do things just to keep busy and not panick it was only once I got back to shore that I had a mental breakdown and that the situation was being handled by ems

 

[southkogs]

littlerayray ... Firstly, you did great. Too many people would have stood by and let things unfold around them. You took action. Well done.

IMHO - you need to make sure you're working your way through this with someone in person (not over the internet). Someone you trust, and who can help you talk through the questions you have. I personally haven't experienced any PTSD, but I do have some experience with people who have (puttin' on my chaplain's hat for a moment). It's not that you need a psychologist ... you just need a trusted bud talking through it with you.

I don't believe in chance coincidence either, by the way.

 

[littlerayray]

I have been talking to many people and part of me wanted to share my story with you all my councellors are telling me I'm making good progress part of me wanted to share my story another part of me wants to know that I'm not the only one out there dealing with this crap

 

[gm280]

I have been talking to many people and part of me wanted to share my story with you all my councellors are telling me I'm making good progress part of me wanted to share my story another part of me wants to know that I'm not the only one out there dealing with this crap

littlerayray, we never understand sometimes what God's plan is for us from one day to the next. But maybe you were there to save the victim's wife and not him. I mean if there were nobody there that day, the wife would have swam out to try and save her husband and drowned as well. So maybe you're looking at this as not fulfilling your task when in reality you were there to save her... I don't know but that is how it sounds to me... JMHO!

 

[littlerayray]

That is honestle how I feel gm and tbh I wouldn't wish the experience on my worst enemy I am glad that I had the foresight to kick my gf and the kids out of the boat before I headed back out all they saw were firetruck ambulance and Leo cruisers and me shaking like a leaf storm

 

[MTboatguy]

Being the victim of heavy duty PTSD/Shell Shock, you are doing the right thing, you did everything you could do and you should not expect more. You are a hero, you did what you could without question and you made what happened easier for those involved by being there and being the man you are. Don't blame yourself and work things through with those you trust the most.

I can tell you from my experience, it will never go away, but it will evolve to another feeling in time, but you need to give it your time. I spent a long time talking with my Army Chaplin, not because I am religious, but because I trusted him, he was with me when I was wounded and he never left my side while I was in transport to Germany from the battle field, so he is a trusted friend and we still talk with each other on the phone, just to check up on each other.

Things happen for a reason, and we may never understand those reason, but we can grow from the events that invade our lives sometimes, if you keep up with a positive motion forward, it will become a memory in your mind and a strength in your personality, you will trust yourself much better because of your actions and instincts to do the right thing at the right time.

I don't know by your description you are experiencing PTSD, but you are experiencing a shocking and sad experience and it will take a little time to get back to living your life again. I am sure the man you tried to save, would not want you hanging on his passing and would want you to be back out in the water enjoying yourself with your family and friends. It is one of those passing events that we experience in life and his wife will always be bound to you by the events of that day, just be sure you know, she is not mad at you, but thankful you were there.

Embrace it and let it make you stronger.

Good Luck, it will get better!

 

[littlerayray]

I apreciate the support guys like I said I trust you guys and it's a feeling of sadness I've been sitting in the boat today I got the nerve to do it and it wasn't as bad an experience as I thought I will attempt to put the boat in the water this weekend if the weather holds up I may even consider swing a graphics guy to do a memorial stencil on the girl just thoughts that ran through my mind I know it won't ever go away and honestly I would feel guilty if it did

 

[MTboatguy]

One thing that has been handed down to me during my rehabilitation is learning to not say "Why Me" but I learned to think about it in another manner, I say, "I am glad it was me" In my case, if it had not been me, it would have been one of my men, in your case, be glad it was you, because you did the right thing.

We had an event happen here locally a couple of days ago, that is tragic and sad, a guy was out of gas on the side of the road and a family stopped to help him and he shot them, killed two of them and wounded a daughter, so now everybody is saying in the news, I will never stop to help anybody ever again! I was amazed and wrote an article for the news paper and I told them, you be afraid, I will not, if I stop to help someone in distress and due to events that is my time to meet my maker, at least I will know I was doing the right thing when it happened, I refuse to be made afraid or scared by the events that happen in our lives, I will continue to do the right thing, just as you did!

 

[littlerayray]

So do I I just evaluate the situation and take all precautions that I can the news sickens me cuz it's all doom and gloom but the reason my incident was so well known was the victim was a prominent figure in our community the story was national and I am glad it was myself since I am a certified diver I had good knowledge of his equipment and was able to inflate his bcd (buoyancy compensation device) as well as look for his weight belt to ditch but he already did that somebody else would have tried to take the bcd off and made the rescue that much harder

 

[MTboatguy]

Sounds like you did everything right, I am also a certified Dive Master and based on what you are describing, it does not sound like you did anything wrong at all. I have over a 1000 dives in Hawaiian waters and really wish I could dive, unfortunately I can't any longer and I sure miss it. Even though I can't dive anymore, I still carry my dive card in my wallet.

It is sad, so many people in the water these days, don't realize that BC is a life saver to a diver in distress.

 

[littlerayray]

I did do everything right the ems crews were in awe literally in awe at how I handled the situation the fire chief police chief both commended me on my handling of the situation and said that they couldn't have done as good a job due to the lack of knowledge on dive equipment

 

[MTboatguy]

You'll be just fine, your words are already saying it.

 

[littlerayray]

I figured I would be just gonna take me a while to go diving again is all

 

[nwcove]

You'll be just fine, your words are already saying it.

well said MT, it will take some time and a bit of reflection. littlerayray, you went above and beyond, my hats off to you .