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  1. #1
    Moderator aspeck's Avatar
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    Default Letter from a Kentucky Mother to her Son

    Dear Son,I am writing this slow cause I know you kan't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. your Dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenny miles of home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last Kentucky family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address.This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in, pulled the chain and hadn't seen'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second.The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral up she comes.About your father - he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery.About your sister - she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are an uncle or an aunt.Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off playfully so he drowned. We cremated him, he burned for three days.Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. the other two drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down.Not much more news this time, nothing much has happened. Write more often.Love,MomP.S. Was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
    Rules of Repair:
    1. If it ain't broke, give me a hammer, it will be!
    2. You only need 2 tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move, and it should, use WD-40. If it moves, and it shouldn't, use Duct Tape!
    3. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


  2. #2
    Honorary Moderator Emeritus SpinnerBait_Nut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letter from a Kentucky Mother to her Son

    Hey, don't be talking about my mother.


    "JUST KEEP ON, KEEPING ON"
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

  3. #3
    Moderator aspeck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letter from a Kentucky Mother to her Son

    Yes, that one was sent out just for you SBN!
    Rules of Repair:
    1. If it ain't broke, give me a hammer, it will be!
    2. You only need 2 tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move, and it should, use WD-40. If it moves, and it shouldn't, use Duct Tape!
    3. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


  4. #4
    Lieutenant
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    Default Re: Letter from a Kentucky Mother to her Son


  5. #5
    Commander Carphunter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Letter from a Kentucky Mother to her Son

    SBN, don't let grandma Nut read this!!!Good one aspeck!
    "You can lead a horse to water, but that doesn't make him a duck"

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